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11:34pm Mar 29 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 622
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That must be really hard, Macdp. I never really had the boyfriend situation before, but I know how annoying that can be. It's never happened to me or my parents, but my friends parents are 'sorta' racist against other people's religons. Her mom doesn't really like Mormons and thinks they will just persuade my friend. I don't know, I think it's pretty wrong. Where I live a lot of Mormons live and her mom really just needs to deal with it. But I shouldn't be talking about other people like that, especially an elder.
Blazed, I'm so sorry. Even though I don't know what you may be going though, which it is your personal things I understand that feeling. The feeling to want to tell. But hide, I want my friends to notice there may be something wrong. They usually don't. When I try to tell them only one of my friends truly understand, and even then she doesn't understand all of it. I know you probably have a lot of stress, a lot of things to think about. I shouldn't be questioning it but self harm isn't the answer. I know I probably sound like any other person, but I know how bad it effects. I used to hurt myself because of drama and friend issues, I have always been a good kid. Wearing cute little outfits like I'm still in 6th grade. I can't stop smiling and I am a pretty smart kid. Even then I used to self-harm. Then I just starting starving myself, hoping to kill myself off. Numerous times I have thought about grabbing the nearby sisscors and slitting my neck. Finding away to escape. But I thought about it. I asked myself what will this help me with? Pain replacing pain? Another thing to be self-consious about. Another thing I want to escape from. Why am I doing this? 15 is so young. I know how hard it can be to put aside the good and just find the bad. It's hard though. Know, this might not mean anything to you. Being younger. I don't know much, I probably don't know half of what you go through everyday. But I hope this helps. Because I know we don't talk, this is an online site and everything but everytime I do see you on here I smile. Because you always have something good to say. Well maybe not like happy on this thread anyways but other threads and forums. And you're a person. Imagine a little girl like me concerned for your life and I don't even know you. Think about the people you actually do know and have better knowledge of things. How much they love you. Tell a friend. I know you have tried. But try again. Get them on a watch for you. And if they aren't devoted, I'm talking come to your house and help you, find someone like that. Because people do care. I remember I was in my room texting my friend crying. On my floor against the wall holding a razor blade. Cutting my arm. He asked me what I was doing and I didn't respond. He called me I answered crying and he came to my house and found me on my floor. Took the blade out of my hand and helped me clean my cuts. Afterwards we had a long talk. I didn't even know he had this in him. To be so deep and concerned. You may have a friend that seems like he/she could care less about things like that. But they may be hiding something like yours. Wow, this is long...bare with me. xD Point is life is way to presious. There is a reason you are here. Or our Lord(or whoever you believe in, don't mean to be offensive) wouldn't take the time to make you into the beautiful human being you are. :) If you can't find that friend, if you want drop me mail. I can help you. I will try to understand best that I can. Anything. Oh and it's more than a big deal. ;)
(－_－) zzZ
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1:54pm Apr 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 640
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A confession? Well... I've actually managed to get too embarrast to tell anyone.
Now I've been sick for about... half of my life. The only problem, is that nobody knows whats wrong with me. I have no energy. Sometimes I can lay in bed the whole day, and I can easily sleep 12-18 hours.
I'm so scared to tell anyone of my problem, cos I know they won't understand. "Everyone is tired, pull yourself together". But I can't controll it. If i go out one day - I have to lay in bed 1-2 after cos I used up my energy.
I've been sent to psyhologists, cos they meant I had a depression. They gave me antidepression-pills, but ended up getting worse.
I've been sent from doctor to doctor, to find out whats wrong. I've been at so many visits at the hospital, but I just seem to get worse.
I had to quit school. I've quit 3 years, where I tried to go to school. But I couldnt do it cos I ended up sleeping.
I can't eat almost any longer. I've managed to get sleeping problems so now I take pills for that aswell.
My friends don't want to talk to me anymore. Cos I keep cancelling our meeting. They don't understand that i cant almost move. Sometimes my body paralizes. I can't move a muscle, before someone beat me or something...
Nobody believes in me and my sickness. I'm all alone.
After being so ill for a long time, without the doctor finding anything - I've managed to get hypochondriasis. I'm now so scared of having all the illness in the world I can't relax.
I just really wish my friends would believe me, and support me in the search of a diagnosis.
Atleast I have an amazing boyfriend who follows me to the hospital and the doctor. And a supporting family who even walks my dog. (I'm so thankful...<3)
Thats my confession. If anyone has the same problems as me, or have any clue whats wrong with me... please rmail me or something. :)
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7:44pm Apr 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 114
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kinera, sounds like M.E. or cfs. i've got it and i know exactly what it's like to be told 'you're a teenager, you're just lazy' but it's not that. i've dropped out of college 3 years in a row and can't hold a job because of it. i've not got any medication for it or any friends. it doesn't show up in any blood tests so you'll have to get checked a LOT if it is that. try talking to your parents to see if it's M.E/cfs or talk to a doctor about it. hope i helped :) |
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8:07pm Apr 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 640
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Wow! Yeah actually my doctor have been questioning if it could be ME. But I havent heard any more of it.
And thats just how its like for me aswell! Dropped out of school 3 times, tried to have a job but had to quit. So difficult to make friends understand...
Ive read that the only way to get it dianosed, is to be healty of all other illnesses. And there is NO threathment for it...
It actually really helped. <3 It's kind of good to know theres others like this in the world. That you're not alone.
How is your sleeping routine btw? :o
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8:13pm Apr 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 114
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sleeping's not so good. i'll be asleep... sometimes whole days & nights consecutively without waking.
often go bed at 9pm to wake up at 3pm the next day.
or i'll have days where i go bed at 2am, don't sleep till 5am and wake up at 8am.
4/5 days a week i won't be able to move due to muscle pain. best way to explain to people is if you've ever been to the gym and everything hurts in the morning... it's like that all the time without doing anything, so it hurts even more when i actually do things.
i'm underweight due to sleeping too much to even eat as well so i take over the counter vitamin tablets when i can to try and keep my energy up.
i've had to completely change my diet and routines which is very exhausting cause i'm not good with change.
i hope it gets better, if not for me, then for you :)
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8:30pm Apr 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 640
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Yeah thats the same routine as with me. But it can be in periods. Every 3rd week it changes. Changed from sleeping late, to sleeping early. And changing how good I sleep. (nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night)
I don't have that much muscle pain. But I have a lot of pain in the joints. Especially in the knees and in the shoulders.
My weight is normal. I think I lay aroung 55kg. But it's very different of how much I eat. It's the same period system as with the sleeping.
Right now I take 5 differnt vitamin-pills. And I get one vitamin with a syringe. Trying to balance it up seeing I'm very low at the vitamin B12 (the one I take with syringe)
I hope you get better aswell. <3
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3:18pm Apr 9 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 461
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I'm bulimic.
I know it's wrong, but it's almost turned into an addiction for me. I don't always do it when i eat, but sometimes when i think about what I've consumed it makes me feel sick and overly full. It seems that it's the only way to calm myself and my stomach.
At first I would only do it on occasions. Now, however I'm almost doing it daily or every couple days. I always tell myself "this is the time I'll stop for sure" but i never do. I just don't think i have that self control.
I wasn't going to post this after reading everyone's posts, but now i feel compelled to do so. It seems that everyone has so much more going on it their lives that my confession is just minor.
I want you all to know i truly feel for you. I know you all don't know me, and probably never will, but I've always had this way of putting myself in another persons shoes. I couldn't imagine going through some of the things you all have posted.
It takes true bravery.
I hope you all get through your troubles.
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7:41pm Apr 9 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,355
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Err, might as well tell a bunch of strangers my biggest secret, right? ;D
I'm bi. (Bisexual) Ever since I was 8, I've had feelings for males and females. My mom laughs when I tell her, and when I tell a girl I like that, she practically flips out and I say I'm kidding, (I lie) because she's a great friend of mine, and I don't want to lose her over a little crush. My brother thinks it's disgusting, and my dad...he's never said a word about lesbians, except a few times he laughed a one on TV. My entire family doesn't get it! I don't see what's wrong with it, to me it's just as weird as a boy and a girl dating. I know, I'm strange. ;w; |
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3:49pm Apr 12 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 114
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sonador... there's absolutely nothing wrong with liking both, or even just one. my 'girlfriend' is currently transitioning into a boy, and i couldn't be more proud of him! but there are a lot of people that laugh at us because of many reasons. the obvious one is him being trans, along with me being a lesbian (not any more ofcourse aha) constant comments, pointing & laughs. just ignore people. if you like girls, you like girls. if you like boys, you like boys. if you like both, you like both. there's absolutely nothing wrong with any. you'd be surprised how many hetrophobes are out there as well, and it's just as bad as being homophobic. you just stand up for yourself and don't ever let anyone tell you what or who you like. chin up kid :) |
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7:34pm Apr 12 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,355
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Thanks. c: I wasn't saying I'm weird because I like girls, but because I think it's as weird as a boy and a girl going out. I honestly already lost all my dignity and popularity...I don't care if they laugh. I'm me, and that's good enough for me.
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10:07pm Apr 12 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 622
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Sona. I just want to tell you I have been watching your signature for five minutes straight. o-o XD Also, you are who you are. It's not weird at all. People are mean and we gotta live to ignore it.
(－_－) zzZ
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10:22pm Apr 12 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 114
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that could come across as a little hetrophobic but i'm sure you don't mean it in that way. just do what you want and be happy for yourself :)
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4:46am Apr 18 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 1,576
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I have OCD. With socks. I have like, half a drawer full of socks, a quarter of which are torn, but I can't bear to throw them away. I also have problems with breathing, but I didn't want to bother my parents, so I didn't tell them about it. I fell down during a 1.6km run during Phys Ed -- my classmates said I fainted. It was barely the second round of running and I was gasping for air. I've also been rather irritable lately. Idunno. So yeah, that's it. |
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2:03am Apr 30 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 670
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My little sister lost her virginity at age 11 to a girl. I'd approve of this if I didn't feel overly protective to said little sister. The other one is joining the Navy, and I'm scared for both of them.
Even though my previously bald head is growing hair, I still habitually pull at it, and I'm scared that I'll have to wear a wig for my wedding, which is in three months.
I'm supposed to be meeting an old friend in a few days, and he's expecting me to have sex with him, even though we haven't seen each other in six years and I'm engaged (as I said before). Plus, I can't find a way to say no to him no matter how bad I want to, as he guilt trips me into saying otherwise.
I shiver randomly sometimes, and it'll last several minutes before I even realize I'm doing it. |
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5:50am Apr 30 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 709
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Well that's considered sexual harassment. Call the police. Tell your fiance maybe he could help. I'm sorry your stuck in a situation like this. Hope things get better.
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8:10am Apr 30 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 670
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I can't, really. He lives 2000 miles away from me and I can't go through any legal anything from home. I'm hoping I just won't see him at all, since I'll be an hour away from him and he works odd hours. If not, my mom will be with me, and I'll just hope for the best.
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11:32am Apr 30 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 622
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Oh, Ara. I'm so sorry about your little sister. I understand the protectiveness and everything. 11 is a young age. I'm also really sorry about you seeing this man. Does he know you are engaged?
(－_－) zzZ
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3:14pm Apr 30 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 670
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Yes, he just thinks my fiancee is a jerk and I shouldn't be with him
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3:14pm May 8 2012 (last edited on 6:40pm May 9 2012)
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Artist
Posts: 3,187
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im extreamly paranoid and anxious... Like people could be talking about frogs and I'll think its about me... I want to get help but when ever I talk to someone about it, just to get a second oppinion and to get all these horrible feelings out in to the open I always get the seems they think im exaggerating or just plain lying. It leaves me feeling alone and scared. I want some help but I don't want drugs and councellers don't help (had to talk to one befor about other issues)
I find it hard to relaxe in public crowded places and find it hard to breath on the school bus. Sometimes i even get scared and paranoid people are talking about me in the SB :| I just wish i could talk to someone about it or rather i wish my head would just sort its self out and let me relaxe and be happy... And most of all i wish the world wasn't against me... I I i felt accepted and like I can just be myself |
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2:52pm May 9 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 733
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Skypi, Rmail is always open if you need to let some things out.
My family is driving me insane, my mother in particular. I hate going out somewhere with my family, because I'm the shortest, and I always get left behind (I'm 5'5" by the way). There are a lot of things that are just really pushing it with me, people in particular, although only in real life, and I know part of it is is that I can't seem to get enough sleep at night, every time I roll over I wake up. If I truly hate anything in this world, it's my alarm. I'm terrified of it. I just need a couple days where I can relax, and sleep in, but I don't know when that's going to happen.
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