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10:20am Feb 1 2012 (last edited on 10:30am Feb 1 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 1,314
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Whoa, Jen. I know you've probably done this already but I'd get checked up with a doctor if I were you. Consider your diet and lifestyle. I did read the part about it coming from dodgy genetics on your mum's side. But still. Could it have something to do with eating excessive fatty noms? Or not doing enough exercise? Or maybe even doing too much? I dislike pointing out the obvious but... :c I don't think there's much else I can say. I just hope you either get better soon or find a way to cope with it without being in pain...
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12:20pm Feb 1 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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I haven't checked up with a doctor yet. x-xI haven't been eating anything unhealthy, and I've been exercising every other day. And I don't really feel that stressed.. I've grown used to the pain, and I don't think it'll get any worse.. Unless I go through really bad emotional trauma again.
i’m such a gamer uwu
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12:22pm Feb 1 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 1,652
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I agree with Eira. You should see a doctor when you can, Jenny. D: None of us want you to get any worse.
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12:40pm Feb 1 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 1,314
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Even if you've grown used to it, it won't do any harm to check up on it. Especially if members of your family have had a history of heart conditions. You're just pushing the dust under the rug. Letting it build up won't benefit you at all :c |
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1:27pm Feb 4 2012 (last edited on 1:28pm Feb 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 1,651
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Confession:
I've now had to stay after school until 3:00 two times to finish or show work to the teacher that apparently wasn't done. :<
I am online..
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4:10pm Feb 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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Confession by an anonymous:
Sometimes I think my life sucks. One, because all my friends seem to have things that I don't. xD I know, kind of stupid, right? I've only had this once: But when I was 7, [or 8] I kept screaming out on the playground, "I HATE MY LIFE!" Now I look back on it and think, "Hey, I was kind of stupid there." But, I remember it clearly because I got a hug from a complete stranger with a baby stroller. I don't know why, maybe I randomly walked up to her and asked for a hug. But, I remember my friends telling me , "No, don't think like that!" I really don't hate my life. Sure, sometimes I break down and cry about not having any pets, or not having these boot shoes, or something like that. I'm also very sensitive. When my parents yell at me or ground me, I'll often cry, and my thoughts will manage to grab thoughts about not having things that all my friends have either. I'm a Christian, and when I'm insecure with my peers, or scared of being grounded or yelled at when I lied, I'll always pray for forgiveness. Not every day, of course, but every night I'll do a small prayer and go to sleep. I don't have any guilt issues, but I do have two last confessions:
-I do sometimes believe chainmail, and I will pull an all-nighter if I think about too much.
Once, I didn't get any sleep for a week, until it p***ed. Gosh, I never liked sleep any better.
-I'm twelve currently, but my last confession is that when I was little, my mother and my grandpa, [Grandpa is dead, he died a few days after my birthday] we were at a little grocery store, and there was acorn on the ground. [or some sort of nut] that I guess fell of display. So absent-minded that I was, I picked it up and put it in my coat pocket. When we were walking home, I showed it to her and she found out that it was from the store. xD
Oh, and yes, I just remembered that I have one VERY LAST confession to make.
My aunt, uncle, grandpa and grandma [grandparents on my mom's side, aunt and uncle on my dad's] are all dead. I cry some nights missing them, I know, I'm tearing up right now about it. I wish they were still here, but I know nothing will bring them back. I can't bring myself to type about the great times we had together, but I will tell you one memory of my uncle:
The first [I think] and last time I saw my uncle was at my aunts funeral's dinner. He taught me how to use chopsticks, but I still fail at them. So I made a promise to myself that I will learn how to use chopsticks.
I miss you Uncle, Aunt, Grandpa and Grandma! I love you, R.I.P.
i’m such a gamer uwu
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1:56pm Feb 5 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 733
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I kept having nightmares. Most of them I didn't remember exactly. First they started, and I couldn't remember anything, so I could just pass them off. Then I started remembering things, people and animals fighting, and things chasing me. It's not unusual for me to have strange dreams, but these ones started to bother me.
I think I was having them because I feel so lonely right now. I don't see my friends much anymore, and the closest things I have to them are my pets, and the nightmares prey on them basically. But then they went away when I found a couple new friends that I was able to see more often.
Now I'm afraid that they're going to come back, because I've found out that my family might be moving out of state. But the worst part about that is that my brother will probably be in college, and I'll have no friends, I'll be on my own in an entirely new environment.
Wait, no, that's not the worst part. If my family does move, it won't be for another year. How am I supposed to concentrate on my work, and be around my friends when I know my time with them is limited? I can't get sleep at night because my parents keep talking about moving and stuff. I'm losing sleep because I can't calm down to relax and drift off when they talk, it's torturing me because I don't want to hear any of it, but it's one of those cases where you can't help but listen.
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5:24pm Feb 5 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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A lot of things are crashing down on me this week.
Because of my self-destructive type of personality, my emotions are crashing down onto me and it's overwhelming. Mostly because of my husband coming back for a week.. Not only that, but I've been losing sleep because of those nightmares. Because of the combined of the two above, I've been losing my appetite. Because of my will to stay fit, I've been exercising way too much, almost to exhaustion. Which doesn't help that I haven't been eating that much.. And then I have to worry about college but that isn't new at all.
My focus is totally gone. I can't concentrate for too long because of everything else.
But I think this is all mostly because I keep thinking too much. And when I think, it's all negative. It's not helping my heart dilemma at all. It's just really overwhelming..
i’m such a gamer uwu
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6:33am Feb 6 2012 (last edited on 6:33am Feb 6 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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- According to the National Institute of Mental Health symptoms of depression may include the following:
- - difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
- ... definitely yes, especially in the concentration part.
- - fatigue and decreased energy
- ... eh, because I'm losing sleep and my appetite.
- - feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
- ... sometimes all 3 at the same time, but mostly a loss of self-worth.
- - feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
- ... definitely yes. I haven't been this negative in a while.
- - insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
- ... yes insomnia. and possibly excessive sleeping during the day.
- - irritability, restlessness
- ... a bit restless at times. like I want to do something but I can't..
- - loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
- ... yes. I don't even want to read anymore.
- - overeating or appetite loss
- ... obviously losing my appetite slowly.
- - persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
- ... have been having headaches. and heartaches. both are equally persistent.
- - persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
- ... very persistent. feeling more empty than ever.
- - thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
- ... This is the one thing that hasn't happened. I want to add 'yet' but I don't want to. I guess the closest thought of suicide I've had is that things would be better without me.
All of these things have been slowly falling into place over the past month and still going. I'm hoping to fix myself when I'm gone for a week or two. Some say depression is all in the head, and this is what I'm hoping is true. Because that means I can actually cure myself.
i’m such a gamer uwu
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1:56pm Feb 6 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 3,809
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Mrh, Jenny... You'll be fine, I'm sure. Well, maybe not sure, but I can sure as hell hope fer you, and be here for you if you ever need anything. <3 Ty has like, no confessions worthy of this thing, solike. Yeah. |D
Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
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11:31pm Feb 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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Thank you, TY. <3
To be honest, I broke down in tears today. I haven't cried for the whole month even though I have a viable reason too. And I just broke down and couldn't take it. I thought about suicide and almost acted on it.. But I'm a wuss so I couldn't do it..
I looked up a lot of suicide prevention centers and read up about them and the testimonials that some of them had. It inspired me to want to start volunteering at those types of things, whether it be about behavioral problems, pregnancy conflicts, prevention of suicide, etc. I just want to make a difference to someone's life for once.
i’m such a gamer uwu
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4:38am Feb 9 2012 (last edited on 4:40am Feb 9 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 1,775
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Ways that I feel keeps one happy and thinking positively:
- Be proactive. I cannot stress on this more. You need to get off your rnarse and pursue a healthy mind, a happier life. If you want something, rnyou do something to get it. Don't sit there and let it overwhelm you. rnPreventative measures are better than curative ones.
- Don't have ANY excuses at all. Do not self diagnose yourself with depression or ADHD unless you actually intend to get professional help. Seriously, if you give yourself an excuse to behave badly without even trying to hellp yourself, you're only going to dig yourself a hole. GET HELP, KNOW IF YOU ACTUALLY HAVE IT.
- 'I haven't done anything wrong and I never will' = Bad way of thinking. Yeah, most of the time you don't do anything bad. You don't ask for your problems. However, do not block the possibility that you haven't done anything out of your mind. Analyse the situation, check if it's by your own cause or not. If so, try to make ammends. If not, you don't need to do anything. Condolences for your misfortune.
- You need something to love. Love is what keeps the world from falling apart or exploding. Get some (if no one likes you hopefully animals do) ;D
- You must know your age. Seriously. Please, remember how old you are. If you're like 12-20 (teens, rebellious things). What you are getting fussed about may be even a stupid cause (a lot of the time it isn't though)! Also, you shouldn't attempt suicide at such a young age. No one at this age should, you have a life ahead of you. You need to know that.
- Don't try to forget your problems. Some people like to forget or ignore their problems and it comes back to bite them in the butt. Think of a solution and impliment it. If it's stress from school or work, maybe you should do your work instead of playing video games to 'get away from it all'. It's only going to do you more damage. Remeber, you can't get stuff unless you do something to get it.
- Remember who your parents are. You are their blood. They spent years raising you. Don't throw them away. Don't think 'they just think they know they best because they're older'. No. Your parents know you, they've observed you for years. They love you look out for you. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. That's lame.
On another note, if your parents threw you out the house or abused you (something along the lines of 'I HATE YOU SEVERELY'), I wouldn't classify them as your 'parents' anymore. They're lame and don't want you.
- DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS. They don't know more than your parents. They're just someone that will say whatever pleases you. You have a person who probably doesn't know you as well as your parents do whispering sweet words into your ears. Don't take it because its probably not realistic. You make think they know you well, but how about people who have known you since the beginning of your life?
If you're in a situation that requires you to choose something that will effect your life to some extent (like career choice). The only person that has a better word than your parents is someone who has been the same road as you and ended up in a good position. Please, experience should overrule flattery.
Please, don't follow exactly what I say. They're just a few tips to keeping stress out and thinking more positively. I can't tell you how to live your life, but this is a bunch of stuff I keep in mind to help myself (yet again, I have almost no attachment to emotions and am a generally happy person. I think I'm too logical to the point that I don't really feel many emotions or understand other people's emotions).
 I (HATE)' YOU
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