If life were a jacket, were would the gangsters live?
In da hood!

 LexaDear for nanodot

(Yes, I know it is a stupid joike, but my friend told me to post it. XD)

hmm....

Where do dogs hate to shop?

Teh flea market! XD

Here's one: A blonde woman goes to a hairdresser and she's wearing headphones and the hairdresser says 'You need to take those off so I can cut your hair"

So, the woman says 'No, no, I need them' and then the hairdressee says 'Ok, but you have to take them off when I get to the tricky bits' The woman said ok and he started cutting her hair until he got near the headphones.'You have to take them off now' he said. "No, I need them' 'But you said you'd take them off' he replied. So finally the woman agreed and took them off. He finised cutting her hair so she went out of the shop. She dropped down dead. Later, when police came to investigate, they saw the headphones and listened  to what was playing on them. It was a voice saying 'In... Out... In... Out...'

lolz =D

Here are some!

If ignorance was bliss......he'd be a blizzard.

I don't wanna say that she's fat, but she is over emphasized

Why did the dogs run away from the lady? Because she was a Korean Butcher.

Is it a good joke?

While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.

A p*censored*erby commented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"

To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."

Hehehe.

the baker got arrested.why?

because he was caught beating eggs! 

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.

The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."

---

May I have Zymolsis? I'll set up the trade. ^_^

There was a blonde a brunette and a red head running from the police. They ran into a shed with three bags in it. The brunette got into a bage full of puppies, the red head into one of kittens, and the blonde in one of potatoes. When the police got there they poked the bag full of puppies so the brunette said "Woof!" Then they poked the bag full of kittens, the red head said "Meow!" Then the poked the bag of potatoes and the blonde said,"Pooottatttooo"

y didnt the kid die when he jrank posin??

asnwer: cuz he was in the LIVING room :) lol

HOW DO YOU SINK A SUBMAIRNE OF FOOLS?

anser: KNOCK ON THE DOOR.tle="Laughing" />tle="Tongue out" />tle="Smile" />tle="Undecided" />tle="Sealed" />tle="Money mouth" />tle="Wink" /> 

heres one: a brunette walks into the hospital and says to the doctor, "my body hurts everytime i touch it." The doctor exclaimed "Impossible..." So the Brunnette touched her elbow, her head, and knee, and screamed out "OW" everytime.

Then the doctor pointed out "you're not a brunette, are you?" The Brunette replied "no, I was a blonde originally" And the =n the doctor says "I thought so.....your fingers broken"

GET IT?!

This is kinda dry but anywayz...

Knock knock
Whose there?
The boy who cant reach the door bell!
     *hehe*

I dont need a pet thank you. Oh oh oh... heres two others

- A blonde walks into a bar and she gets knocked out!        get it? hehe

- A girl walks into a bar and the bar tender says 'Nice hair'. She replies 'Thanks its natural' and she runs her hand through her hair.. A while later another girl walks in with bright green hair. The bar tender says 'Nice hair'. The girl runs her hand up/over her nose and through her hair and says 'Thanks, it's natural'! *LOL get it. cause the snot makes it green*

Hehe Thanks Guys