Tell an Anti-Joke!

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Dustfeather	11:44pm May 26 2014
Normal User Posts: 4,093	Yep. Tell us your favourite one, as long as it's appropriate! Or tell more than one. Your call. I'll start. Q: How do you confuse a blond? A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her. Dustfeather -> Sparrow -> Universe
Mic	11:52pm May 26 2014
Normal User Posts: 218	Q: What's green and has wheels? A: Grass. I lied about the wheels. "Noodle boy! I thought I smelled some garbage. Turns out I was right!"
Twilight	8:17pm May 29 2014 (last edited on 8:19pm May 29 2014)
Normal User Posts: 2,282	Q:What would George Washington do if he were still alive today? A:Kick and scream in his grave. Q:What is red but smells like blue paint? A:Red paint. Q: what is brown and sticky? A: a brown stick.
Dustfeather	9:37am May 30 2014
Normal User Posts: 4,093	A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, unable to understand English, runs around knocking over tables and causes significant damage before being removed. Dustfeather -> Sparrow -> Universe
boomboom39	9:44pm Jun 23 2014
Normal User Posts: 2,200	Q: where did suzy go when the bombs hit A: Everywhere Join the 2nd year of the planet games! A fun FREE way to win tu!
Melo	1:45am Aug 22 2014 (last edited on 11:11am Sep 22 2014)
Normal User Posts: 257	Inappropriate comment. Removed by staff. http://i61.tinypic.com/69ordi.png
Kittykat	12:42am Sep 6 2014
Normal User Posts: 1,477	Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, why don't you go ask it? 8I What happened after George fell off the bridge? He died. What do you call a door that won't open? Not a door, that's for sure. Two men walked into a bar. One sat on a stool, one stayed standing. Nothing happened for the rest of the night. What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?
fullmoon	5:37pm Sep 10 2014
Normal User Posts: 6,296	How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? You wave.
lilie	4:39am Sep 28 2014
Normal User Posts: 2,403	Q. What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green? A. Three skunks fighting over a pickle. Q. Why did the pineapple fall out of the tree? A. Because it was a banana! (Pineapples don't grow on trees, but bananas do. Therefore, the joke states that the pineapple is actually a banana in disguise) -
Avo	5:10am Oct 3 2014
Normal User Posts: 1,324	Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side. Q. Why did the turkey cross the road? A. To prove he was no chicken. Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A. Because KFC was on the other side. Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the playground? A. To get to the other slide. A blonde and a brunet fell into a hole. The brunet says, "It's dark isn't it?" and the blonde replies, "I don't know, I can't see!" To get to heaven, you have to climb up stairs and each step has a joke. So, a blonde, a brunet and a red try to get to heaven. Brunet gets to 55, red gets to 77 and blonde gets to 99! She laughs, the others ask "Why did you laugh?" she replies, "I only get the first joke now." Three girls were in a aeroplane, they each had something illegal. Blonde - a bomb, Brunet - a knife and Red - a BIG rock. Now, the red doesn't want to get into trouble so she throws her rock out the window. When she gets off there is a boy crying, "What is wrong?" she asked. "A big rock fell out the sky and hit me." he replied. Now, the brunet doesn't want to get into trouble so she throws her knife out the window. When she gets off there is a boy crying, "What is wrong?" she asked. "A knife fell out the sky and killed my dog." he replied. Now, the blonde sees her friends throws their things out the window so she throws her bomb out the window. When she gets off there is a girl laughing, "Why are you laughing?" she asked. The girl replied with tears in her eyes, "My dad farted and the whole of PicknPay exploded!" :)
boomboom39	6:25am Jan 24 2015
Normal User Posts: 2,200	Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender. Join the 2nd year of the planet games! A fun FREE way to win tu!
lilie	2:29pm Jan 24 2015
Normal User Posts: 2,403	What happened when the aliens wore hats? The elephants exploded in pickle jars. -
Hizkoh	12:14pm May 17 2015
Normal User Posts: 58	What is alive? Life. What did the cat say to the elephant? "Meow." What's dry and is grass? Dry grass. Wierdly a Zaphao Freak...
lilie	2:38pm May 24 2015
Normal User Posts: 2,403	Q. What can say hi, but can't say bye? A. A person who is unable to saying bye. -
Excelscia	11:46pm Aug 6 2015
Normal User Posts: 366	what does a procrastinating blonde look like? I dont know ask me again tomorrow?
lilie	3:03am Aug 7 2015
Normal User Posts: 2,403	Q.What's green and has wheels? A.Grass. I lied about the wheels. Q. What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A. We are both lawyers. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is. -
gothicshadow111	9:46pm Aug 11 2015
Normal User Posts: 243	Yo mama SO FAT, she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem. What to you call a black man on the moon? Uh... an astronaut. A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart. I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket.. he said "Hey! How far do you think I can kick this bucket?" An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching an old farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, as owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel, because it's a bird of prey. And my personal favourite: A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender, clearly confused b y this, realises that he's dreaming. He wakes up and turns to his wife excitedly, and tells her about this strange dream he had. His wife just ignores him. The man rolls over and starts to cry as he realises his marriage is in shambles. *THESE ARE ANTI-JOKES, PEOPLE ;)* Click Me!
Dead	4:16pm Nov 4 2015
Normal User Posts: 178	These are fantastic lmao, heres mine: A: Knock Knock! B: Come in. So this guy wheels into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again." And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass. Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality. Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.
Sugar	8:34am Nov 27 2015 (last edited on 8:41am Nov 27 2015)
Normal User Posts: 45	How do you make a lion run faster? Metal legs. If you enter the ham contest what will the man say? You won last year you are not allowed. Why did the chicken cross the road screaming? It needed to use the toilet. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Shut up. What did the bee say to the other bee? I love plants. What do you call a tiger with glasses on? A scientist tiger. Why did the Skittle go bowling? Because he is part of bowling. Those were all actually made by a kid, not me.
lilie	4:49pm Nov 27 2015
Normal User Posts: 2,403	Why does the chiken running around screming Bcause he needed to use the toilot -