Joke contest


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iloveotter

12:18am Apr 24 2011

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Posts: 227
Get 20k if one of the 5 cousins laugh.
lucytheamazing1

4:15am Apr 24 2011

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Posts: 26
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow."
cheeseballs

5:28am Apr 24 2011

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Posts: 134

why was the baby ant confuzed

because all its uncils were ants 

lol lol lol

jk

it mite be funny it was the first time and

also to my cuzin so i try 




:P hi
Messenger

9:28pm May 23 2011 (last edited on 11:00pm May 28 2011)

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Posts: 80

One day, a brunet girl walked into the doctors office. She said where ever she touched, it hurt her. And the doctor asked if she was a natural brunet, and she said no. I was naturally a blonde. And he said no duhh stupid, your finger is broken.

 

LOL!!!

Messenger

9:29pm May 23 2011

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Posts: 80
*And*
Messenger

9:33pm May 23 2011

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Posts: 80
A blonde, brunet, and a red head were running from the cops and they hid on a potato farm. They all hid in potato bags. The first cop it the bag with the red haid in it, and the red haired gilr said woof, woof! So the cop thought that it was a dog and moved on. The second cop hit the bag with the brunet in it, and the brunet went mewo, meow! So that cop thought it was a cat, and moved on. The third cop hit the bag with the blonde in it, and the blonde said in her sweetest vioce, potato.
Starburster

11:10pm May 23 2011

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Posts: 51
I laughed



punchbuggy

2:47pm May 24 2011

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Posts: 517

I have three jokes: 

Joke one: 

A blonde and her blonde cousin are taking a nice stroll in the forest one night. All of a sudden, they come to a pair of tracks. They spend about twenty minutes arguing over what kind of tracks they were, when they both got completely decked by a train.

 




punchbuggy

2:49pm May 24 2011

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Posts: 517

Joke Two:

A blonde and her boyfriend have a great idea: They should jump off the empire state building! When they get to the top, they lean over the edge. They both count, "One... two... five!" and then they jump. Who hit the ground first?

The blonde: she had to stop and ask for directions! 




punchbuggy

2:53pm May 24 2011

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Posts: 517

Joke Three:

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunet die. They have to follow a stairway of 100 stairs to get into heaven. Each stair has a joke on it. If they laugh, they get sent to eternal pits of flame. The brunet ascends up the steps. "Ha, ha!" she laughs on joke 16. The redhead laughs at joke 36. The blonde gets to the 99th step, and laughs. Why? asked God. "You were so close!" 

"I just got the first joke!" she replies happily. 




zmajka1999

3:06pm May 24 2011

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Posts: 271

My joke:

Three sisters, two crazy, where living in the same house.The first one(crazy) went to take a bath.When she got in the bath toub she asked her self:Was I going to take a bath or did I already have it?The second sister(also crazy)was called by the first one to help her remember, but when she got to stairs, she asked her self:Was I going up or down?The third sister(maybe not crazy)knocked on the table and said:Im lucky that Im not crazy as those two.The first sister called her and the third sister told her:Wait, somebody is knockind on the door!

LOL!!!Shes CRAZY!!!




Messenger

4:12pm May 24 2011

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Posts: 80

Bump

Messenger

4:13pm May 24 2011 (last edited on 11:01pm May 28 2011)

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Posts: 80

A black and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driveing?

A cop!

lol

Trancegirl

5:39pm Jul 1 2011

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Posts: 306

One night, a father and a son went out camping. When the morning came, the father and son left. Who did they leave behind?

Answer: the knight!




Current Kir Quest: Silver Valabex.\r\nPlease R-mail if you can help.
Nomenaitrel

5:49pm Jul 1 2011

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Posts: 496

(Not to be offensive to Blondes here)

How do you kill a blonde?

 

You glue a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool.






Signature created by Sheta. All credits go to Sheta.
Canetoadance

7:17pm Jul 1 2011

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Posts: 741

>is blonde and not stupid<

Thanks guys. <3 xD





Huhwah?
hojak1226

3:49pm Jul 2 2011

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Posts: 362

1.how do u drown a blonde?

put a scratch 'n' sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool 

 

2. how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

five 1 to hold the bulb 4 to turn the chair

 

3. a lady was driving along the road when out of no where a tree was right in front of here so she swerved and there was another so she swerved again and another one was coming so this kept up for the next 10mins until she skidded the car and it rolled. later on the police came to the scene and said "what caused al this?" then the lady told the officer about the trees but the officer noticed the wasnt a tree for miles! so the officer looked back down at the crashed car and frowned... he went to the lady and told her it was only her air conditioner swinging back and forth




zmajka1999

4:20pm Jul 2 2011

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Posts: 271

Why did blond take a private math lessons.Cuz she saw her boyfriend with two Unknown.

Lol!




Shark

5:59pm Jul 2 2011

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Posts: 910
I am sort of offended by these blonde jokes xD but some are funny, others make no sense. Bur it's fine xD I'm book smart, but my common sense is below zero<3 anyways... Post my joke here in a few! c:



snivy606

8:01pm Jul 2 2011

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Posts: 17
WHAT FLAVOUR IS THE CRACKER ON HIS WAY TO TEXSAS PLAIN BECAUSE HES TAKINGA PLANE TO THE TEXSAS PLAINS
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