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6:57pm Mar 4 2012 (last edited on 6:58pm Mar 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 785
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((Epic posts? Pfft. You're funneh, Ty. xD))
Pax abruptly stopped whistling and studied Luka closely. He sighed inwardly. He knew he probably shouldn't have gotten his hopes up that Luka might have been able to hear him, but it was still disappointing.
"Crazy?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as he tasted the somewhat unfamiliar word. Pax had heard that humans sometimes developed disorders of the mind, that they could forget who they were and begin to believe strange things about the world around them. It was a terrifying thought.
"Crazy." he said again. Then he noticed the fear and worry in Luka's eyes. "I don't think you're crazy," he said earnestly. "You don't behave the way a person who was crazy would."
Then, even though Luka had proven that he couldn't communicate with his mind, Pax decided to try something. He focused hard, as though he were trying to talk to someone who was stubborn and unwilling to listen. In fact, he was more forceful than was strictly necessary when he projected his next thoughts into the young boy's mind, though he took extreme care to be gentle as well. As the angel did one of the most foolish things he had ever dared to do, he looked Luka square in the eyes, trying to convey with as much conviction as possible how literally he meant what he said next. Speaking with his mind and voice at once, Pax said the following:
Do you believe in guardian angels, Luka? Because I think I'm meant to be yours.
Pax shivered slightly from the intense rush of fear and adrenaline at doing something he wasn't supposed to. Because indirectly, he had just revealed himself to a human, hadn't he? A living human boy (provided he understood the message) was privy to the knowledge that, standing before him was an angel.
But then something curious happened. At the very centre of Pax's being, at a much more personal level than normal conversations held in the mind, Pax heard and felt some sort of presence. It wasn't a pleasant experience either, but rather one that filled Pax with terror and froze him in his spot. For the presence had come, apparently, to deliver a message.
Mistake.
That was all it said. A booming voice, neither human nor angel, that thundered furiously in Pax's mind, his ears. Like a thousand bass drums being abused with heavy mallets whose wielders pounded unceasingly and utterly without mercy, the hateful sound rang in his thoughts. Like the hammering of rain as a tempest brews, sending stinging droplets of water like tiny torpedoes hammering against the Tarmac, and like waves that crash tsunami-like against the shore as the water roils and churns until its surface is white with froth.
That was what the voice reminded Pax of. And the word rolled about in his mind as he realized what it meant.
Mistake. I've made a mistake. I've broken the most important rule in existence and they know. I've made a horrible mistake, and I have only myself to blame.
Pax stood staring miserably and fearfully ahead, the presence having left nearly as quickly as it had come, like storm clouds dissipating after a horrible monsoon.
The voice had been a warning of things to come, and it would not go unheeded.
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3:57pm Mar 5 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 3,809
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[[Dude. Didju even see that post right there. |3]] When Pax stopped whistling, Luka believed, for one horrible moment, he had freaked him out or something, made him think he was too weird even for the strange man to speak to. At the following words, though, he realized it would be highly difficult to come up with someone too weird for Pax. He breathed a sigh of relief when the young man said he didn't behave the way a crazy person would, but he still wasn't sure. He'd never heard of sane people hearing voices in their heads that asked if they were special before. In fact, he'd never heard of it at all. Insanity was the kind of subject approached with hostility at the best of times, joked about, never taken seriously enough to be properly discussed. It was almost as unspoken-about a topic as death, but that was somewhat more guarded. Children rarely had very much of an education in it, unless their parents unwittingly educated them, as had somewhat happened with Luka. His parents had argued quite a bit, with talks of slitting throats or smashing to a pulp, and violence was never far from mind at the boy's house. Even so, insanity was an alienated topic for him. It was strange to come across someone who took it seriously. Just as he was beginning to think he might be normal after all, he heard the voice again, stronger this time, and realized this time it was Pax's voice. Why would Pax's voice be the one he heard? He went over the words he'd heard. Guardian angels... Was Pax an angel? It would explain a lot of things, such as the strange behaviour the man exhibited, but it was impossible, surely? And what did he mean be 'his'? Dig guardian angels belong to anyone? Maybe he just meant he would protect him, but from what...? It was all so confusing. Angels didn't exhist. They couldn't exist. Besides, where were his wings? Luka didn't know what to do, but he figured if he was going to be crazy, he might as well be open about it. ''Pax? How come you don't have big wings?'' His voice was curious, not as fearful as it had been; if Pax said he was sane, he was sane. Even if he was crazy, he didn't care anymore. He, being a child, hadn't yet gained the unreasonable fear of everything unknown that adults usually carried around with them. He looked up at the man he was now convinced was an angel, his eyes wide with interest. He peered around behind Pax, as if he expected to see the wings appear at any minute, then looked back to his face, studying his features with an interest borne of the knowledge that he was different. ''And how does an angel belong to somebody?'' It didn't occur to him to wonder how Pax had managed to speak with his mind, it just was. Pax was strange, he had known that from the beginning.
Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
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2:11pm Apr 7 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 785
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((Lmao. Was going to have Pax take Luka into into a secluded place- dark alley or something- and then take off his shirt so he could show his wings but...))
Pax paled, Luka's words barely registering. The voice echoed hollowly in his mind, a horrible sinking feeling in his chest. He stared straight ahead, heart pounding and racing racing with the fear of it all as he realized that he would do absolutely anything to take back the last five minutes of his life. Vaguely, it occurred to him that regret over the past, over that which cannot be changed, was a rather human and weak thing to do.
Not that that mattered. Not that he could concentrate on anything other than...
Than the mistake. The stupid, horrible mistake that he had just made, and that he couldn't do anything to fix. Nothing at all.
But what if he could? Fix the mistake, that is. What if Pax just... pretended it hadn't happened? He could just play it off as a joke, tell Luka he was kidding. The boy was young and gullible and trusting- surely he would believe it. That would solve everything. If Pax told Luka it was a joke, Luka would believe him. He would no longer think that Pax was an angel. If he didn't think Pax was an angel, then that would mean nobody would know. If nobody knew... Problem solved.
It all made a lot of sense and seemed very simple in Pax's mind.
"Wings?" he stammered as he tuned in to the rather one sided conversation. "It's because nobody has wings. It was a joke, clearly."
Almost immediately, Pax felt guilty for lying to Luka, but he told himself it didn't matter. It was, at the very least, better than the alternative.
"Don't you ever joke? Where I'm from, we joke often. And don't be ridiculous, of course I don't belong to anybody. I'm a human. I live in a... A free country."
Pax tried to sound convincing, but he felt the sinking feeling return when he realized that Luka might not buy it. He could only hope he would.
(((Just a quick fail reply. I'm not back for good, but... I missed role playing.))
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5:32am Apr 8 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 3,809
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[[Rofl. Luka's confuzzzzzzzzzzled. XD
I could never not roleplay. o _ o]] Luka looked down, confused. He'd actually believed Pax, actually believed he was an angel, and had made a fool out of himself. He probably thought that he was actually crazy, then... But how had he spoken with his mind, if he wasn't an angel? Maybe he hadn't. Maybe he was just one of those ventriloquist things, or whatever they were, that could talk without moving their mouths. Or maybe he really was going crazy. And of course they had jokes there, but... It always seemed he was on the recieving end of them. He didn't like being on the recieving end of jokes, and so didn't like them in general. But he did like Pax, and Pax had been the one to make the joke, so what did that mean? Should he be happy Pax had joked with him, or unhappy because it had been at his expense? ''Huh? Yeah, I... I guess we have jokes here, but...'' He paused, not wanting to continue. Well, what did it matter if Pax liked joking with him? It only meant that he was like all the rest of them. That he wasn't as different as the little boy had thought he was. ''But I'm not very good with them.'' He finished quietly, his shoulders slumped and his eyes still focused on the floor. He didn't look up at his friend for some time, trying to make sense of why Pax's personality would change so quickly. The only solution he could think of was that either Pax was crazy or he was, and he didn't know what was worse. When he did finally return his gaze to look up at his friend again, he still didn't speak, didn't want to say anything in case he made a fool of himself again.
Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
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... Screw it. HYE. ♥
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3:07pm Apr 29 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 785
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((I feel bad for Luka. For plot purposes, how would you feel about Pax maybe walking Luka to school one day, random kid says something rude/ bullies Luka, and Pax defends Luka (maybe flairs his wings as a means of intimidation) thus proving he is an angel? Or... Something. Dunno.
I'm having a hard time getting motivated to role play these days. :/))
Pax felt himself shivering despite the warm sunshine that shone down on him. He come this close to being... from having...
From something bad happening.
Not that he knew specifically what that would have been. Perhaps banishment? Eternal life among humans, stripped of his wings and mind-speaking abilities? Death?
He didn't know. He didn't care. He hoped he never had to find out.
His blank, fearful gaze wandered to Luka. Pax still lacked skill when it came to identifying and understanding facial expressions, but it was clear to him Luka was upset. But why? Weren't jokes funny? Pax had thought he had done a pretty convincing acting job, but maybe Luka had seen through it. Maybe Luka knew he was lying, and was angry because of that.
Yet... he didn't look angry. He almost looked sad, betrayed. Confused.
Luka hadn't seen through the lie, he had believed it wholeheartedly. That was even worse.
Pax averted his eyes, guilt and shame causing him to feel sick to his stomach. Pax had never lied before. Not outright like that, he hadn't had cause to. Anyway, angels, being mind readers, would have known. He would have been dismissed a a rebellious youth. It wouldn't have been a big deal.
But Luka trusted him. Luka believed him.
"I'm sorry," he muttered to Luka. And he was. He hated that he had ever thought it was a good idea to tell Luka he was an angel. What a stupid move.
And why was his first instinct to lie to cover it up? What did that say about him, about his character? Pax looked downwards, focusing on the lush green grass.
"I'm sorry," he said again. But what could he do about it? He couldn't tell Luka the truth, not now.
Because-
Mistake. The voice would come back, would scold him for his mistake. But not as a school teacher scolds a misbehaving student. Not at all.
It had screamed, and would scream again, like a furious judge. He authoritatively shouts "Guilty!" for all to hear. He speaks clearly, so there can be no mistake.
And there is a tinge of regret, of sadness in his eyes. Because the judge knows he has condemned the accused to die. And there is no turning back.
Mistake. Guilty.
Pax felt like a trapped animal. There was no way out. He wanted to plead Luka to forgive him, and to trust him. He couldnt. Anything he said now could only make it worse.
So Pax, head pounding as troubled thoughts swirled round and round in his mind like the thrashing water in a whirlpool, turned around. He walked a few feet away, back turned, desperately trying to think what could make this better. Trust meant everything to him, and he hoped Luka had it in him to continue trusting his guardian angel. The very thought of those words made him want to cringe. A steady stream of curses flowed from his mouth. He didn't know what they all meant, but they made him feel a bit better.
Pax was afraid to open his mouth at all, lest he say something else stupid, but he needed to know. With deceptive calmness, he turned back around to face Luka.
"Do you... Do you trust me, Luka?" he asked levelly, keeping at bay the hopefulness that threatened to interfere with the way he spoke.
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