Um... I have plans for a new dramatic story. Any ideas to add?


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De

6:11am Jan 5 2011

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Posts: 1,161

Well I was listening to Tears And Rain by James Blunt and this idea came to mind. I replayed the song over and over and got more ideas. Then I started listening to the rest of his songs and came across "Carry You Home" whoich is a very sad song, and gave me an extremely sad idea. So, this story, is going to be a really sad one, and it's quite dramatic. I teared up just thinking about it, as one part is where her sister dies and I never want my little sister to die. Well, here is my ideas so far. In order!

Main Character is Sorren, a ten year old girl.

She has a sister named Ember (nine years old) , and a brother named Clint (thirteen years old).  

Sorren, Ember, and Clint's dad died when they were little.

Her mum is driving the car to school when they have a fatal crash.

Her mum, and clint die in the accident.

Sorren and Ember ran away into the desert.

They make a hut by a water hole and live there for a few months.

One day when they are out hunting they stumble across a cliff.

Ember decides to look down from the top of the cliff.

As Ember stands on the edge, the edge collapses and Ember falls.

Sorren rushes down the cliff from a track that goes around it.

She finds Ember on the ground. Dead.

She cries for a while with Ember in her arms.

Then she picks Ember up and finds a place to bury her.

As she digs, her hands get burnt from the hotness of the sand.

After a few hours, Ember is buried.

Sorren kind of goes crazy.

She finds rags and buttons in Embers backpack and uses them.

She makes a doll.

She decides that she will no longer be lonely, as long as the doll is with her.

She takes her doll everywhere, plays with it and shows it everything she does.

Then, after another few months of surviving, she finds a snake.

As she is crazy, she thinks it's a friend.

She picks it up and it bites her.

It turns out to be venomous, and Sorren gets extremely sick.

After a few days, Sorren dies.

Yes, that is the base of the story right now. It is very sad. Well to me it was, as it played in my head like a movie, from beginning to end. I admit I teared up as it was sad, ok? I created the story, so it was perfect in my head, and your head may mess it up as you imagine the scenes, as you didn't make it up. If you have any ideas, please post! Thank you!

~De




BUYING GINGER VASPI!\r\n

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De

6:11am Jan 5 2011 (last edited on 6:34am Jan 5 2011)

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Character Looks:

Sorren:

Dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Slightly tanned, olivey color. Pinkish lips, that suit her skin color. Lean body to match her tallness. Pretty girl. A plain white baggy top with a singlet under it, and light denim mini-shorts. A fingerless glove  on one hand that is white with black stripes, and goes up to her elbow.

Ember:

Light brown hair and bright blue eyes. Same colored skin is Sorren except the tiniest bit lighter. Pinker lips than sorren. Lean body, and average nine year old height. Also pretty. Blue top with a yellow smiley face on it. She has cotton pants that are different shades of brown with black criss-cross patterns. She also has a flamey looking birthmark on her shoulder.

Clint:

Black hair that is long for a boy (You know, the emo like hair) and ginger eyes. Same colored skin as Sorren except a tiny bit darker. His lips are the same color as Sorrens. Fit body, muscles starting to grow, and tall. A black top that says "Death" in white on it, and camo safari pants. He has a silver ring nose piercing.

Mum:

Ginger hair and emerald green eyes. Same colored skin as everybody else. Lips are red with lipstick. Fit-ish body size a teeny but plumper than "fit". A long black dress with abstract purple flower-like patterns. Black high-heels.

All of them have no shoes on except the mum.




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De

6:11am Jan 5 2011 (last edited on 6:40am Jan 5 2011)

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Other thing looks:

Snake:

The snake is a red bellied black snake, so it is black with a red belly. It is only one meter long.

Doll:

Looks like a xoria voodoo doll, except isn't a voodoo doll. Other than that, it has a blue dress thing. So it looks exactly the same except those two reasons.

 




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De

6:12am Jan 5 2011 (last edited on 6:46am Jan 5 2011)

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Other:

I'd like the characters drawn if possible. Digital please. Sorren smiling, and standing there with the doll in her hand and tangled hair. Ember sitting on the desert floor, gazing into space. But they are the only ones I want drawn. However, you can change the position if you like, and you can change the ex
pression of Sorren, but not Ember. But you HAVE to have the doll in Sorrens hand. If you want to draw one of these, or them both, rmail me, we'll work something out. Also I'd like them drawn seperately. Also I'd like a picture with them together. Ember sitting there crying and Sorren hugging her with tears streaming down her face, trying to come Ember and looking helpless. So remember, rmail me!




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Reddaysi

12:45pm Jan 5 2011

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Posts: 251
... Wow. I mean wow.
This is one of the best storylines I have seen in a long time. Never mind you, I nearly welled up imagining Sorren lifting the snake into the air, then it sinking its teeth into her arm, and her makng the doll, carrying it around, and treating it as her family. And I can just imagine someone walking into the cave, finding Sorren curled with the doll, and a snakebite on her arm.
 
This will be a wondeful story :)
Good luck De!



De

6:06pm Jan 5 2011

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Posts: 1,161
Oh thank you very much! :D And that is a great ending finding her like that. How did you know she was in a cave? That is exactly how I imagined it, her home in a cave. You must be psychic. lol. xD I just can't believe two songs gave me those ideas.



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De

6:16pm Jan 5 2011

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I guess I could get it, as the song goes like this:
Tears And Rain:

I guess it's time I run,

Far, Far away,

Find comfort in pain,

All pleasures the same,

It just keeps me from trouble,

As much you shape,

Like dory and gray,

I've heard what they say,

But I'm not here for trouble,

It's more than just words,

It's just tears and rain.

And...

Carry You Home

As strong as you were,

Tender you go,

I'm watching you breathing,

For the last time,

A song for your heart,

But when it is quiet,

I know what it means and I'll carry you home...

Ooh! I have a better idea! Instead of finding Ember dead, Ember could be alive, but barely, and she whispers her last words, and dies in Sorren's arms. That'd be sadder, so I'll stick with it.




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prinxess

2:09pm Jan 9 2011 (last edited on 2:11pm Jan 9 2011)

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Nice plotline :) But from the list I have some questions...

How/why would they run away to a desert? Since the mother died wouldn't people come and try to put them into foster care? Also do they live near a desert, and why would they run into it knowing that survival will be tougher? 

How exactly does a pair of 10 and 9 year old girls go about making a hut? I can't imagine the desert having that many resources, plus it would take a long time to build (if it was large enough that they could stay in).




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OakWood

12:30am Jan 10 2011

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Why don't you ditch the hut and they can just live in the cave? :) I love the story idea.



De

1:16am Jan 11 2011

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Prinxess:

They run away, because they are sad out of their minds, and are too sad to realise how stupid they are. xD And it was originally just Sorren who got sad and reckless after her family had died and she had an away, no longer wanting to see any other people. So that's basically why. And yes, they live very close to the desert.

Oak and Prinxess: And I didn't technically mean a hut I meant they gathered anything they could find that was a bit more comfortable than a stone ground, to put in the cave so they could sleep there. ;D 

And, pff, I feel stupid, now I realize that they wouldn't just come across a waterhole in the middle of the desert. xD I'll make it a bit tougher on them, and they have get water out of any resources (eg; cactuses) that they can find. 




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Iceheart46

7:22pm Jan 21 2011

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Posts: 3,950
Woah.  Amazing plot.  You must make this story, get it published, then tell me the ti
tle and I'll go buy a copy immediately. XD  I'm serious though!



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De

2:31pm Jan 24 2011

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Yey! :D I doubt it will get published, but whenever I have spare time I work on it!



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Quellsrule

10:29am Jan 27 2011

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Posts: 355
Ah, you are truly a great writer. I'd love to work with you, or perhaps, do a sequel. This one'd be more fictional than the first :o
Anyhoo, this sounds really great :)




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