Still Don't Even Know~ [Comments? o3o]


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Celty

3:53pm Mar 28 2011 (last edited on 3:55pm Mar 28 2011)

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Posts: 3,318

I got this feeling,

that things won't get better.

Unless we figure this out.

Mixed feelings,

wrong decisions.

We still don't even know how.

 

Our goals have been shattered.

Well mine were, I'm not sure about yours.

How to push past this, is all I'm asking.

The door to the answer remains closed.

We still don't even know why.

 

Broken inside, my heart has frozen over.

Your smile, doesn't work on me anymore.

Still we're walking, down this road of anguish and grief.

How I can confide in you, is a mystery.

We still don't even know where.

 

Excuses are all I hear from you.

I'm still seeking some proof.

I try to put the pieces together but it just doesn't add up.

Maybe one day you'll finally understand, that you still don't even know who I am.




DanceIsLife

4:30pm Mar 28 2011

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Posts: 641
<3 Love it mah dear



SquirtleKatelyn

5:01pm Mar 28 2011

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Posts: 27

Aww. I love it. It's so cute, but since you asked for my personal critique....

I'd put the same number of lines in each stanza, just to help the flow of things. :3




 

Celty

7:05pm Mar 28 2011

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Posts: 3,318
Danceh: Thankies! ~ Squiel: Yuss I will work on that^^ this was more of a rough draft lol



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