My Poetry and Stories


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Wendla

11:56pm May 15 2012 (last edited on 12:23am May 16 2012)

Normal User


Posts: 663
So... I am not new to writing Poetry or Stories, yet I am new to this forum!

Please Enjoy?


Sadness
She twirled around the room
Gracefully spinning as the music surrounded her
Pulsing, beating, cloaking her with music
Faster and faster she spun
Her body becoming a mere blur
Glass mirroring her every movement
She continued, her soul determined
Yet this was just not the time
But she pushed
Oh yes, she pushed
Until she could dance no more
And as a lone tear made it's way down her face
She let herself fall.


Please tell me what you think!







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Requiem

7:06pm May 17 2012

Normal User


Posts: 1,372
It's kind of...hmm.

I guess it doesn't altogether make sense. She's determined and you're using words with fast, positive connotations, making her seem like she's happy, but she just...lets herself fall? 



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Wendla

7:12pm May 17 2012

Normal User


Posts: 663
When I'm sad, I throw myself into doing things until I can't do it any more. So for example, when i'm mad, I run and run until I get soo tired of running, and then I collapse.


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