My poems.


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petra13131

11:27pm Aug 29 2011 (last edited on 1:24am Sep 5 2011)

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Posts: 36,303

Hi everyone just posting a few poems I've written here.

 

***************

My bike

 

I have a flat tyre

My aunt’s house caught on fire

My cat's on the high wire

My dog's a real high flyer

And here I am with a flat tyre 

 

My bike is old and rusted 

My mother made some custard

My teacher can't be trusted

My Nan she can't stand mustard

 All because my bike is old and rusted

 

My bike has lost its chain

I can't stand to play this game

Mother says to talk to aunt Jane

Oh my what a pain

I doubt I’ll do this again

Because of my missing bike chain

 

I have a flat tyre

My aunt’s house caught on fire

My bike is old and rusted 

My teacher can't be trusted

My bike has lost its chain

My life will never be the same

 Because my bike is lame

 

****************

Little pen

 

I had almost given up when I thought I lost my pen

I did not want to look for it again

Oh my stupid little pen

I hope you we're not stolen by the wren 

Or picked up by a hen

For what need do they have for you pen?

 

Oh little pen where do you lay?

Are you in the letter box or in a bale of hay?

I fear I have lost you forever I must say

My dearest pen where do you lay?

 

Dearest pen where have you gone?

Will you come back if I sing a song?

Because I won't that is just wrong 

Oh little pen you've been gone far too long

 

Please little pen won't you come back?

I swear you'll give me a heart attack

Please little pen I need you back

To pick up the pencils slack

 

Little pen I found you dear!

All this time you've been right here

Near my desk under my chair

Oh little pen whatever were you doing under there?

 

 

******************

The island of stones

 

I followed the river 

I dove into the stream

On this island the rocks rain supreme

 

The mountain in the middle 

Is made out of stones

And that is where I 

Have made my home

 

None come to visit

My island of stone

They all go past and leave it alone

The river, the stream

Left to flow on their own

The mountain of stones always moving but alone

The rocks always quiet and me all alone.

 

 




YoursTruly

1:49pm Aug 30 2011

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Posts: 3,809
The first two seem a little like nursury rhymes, but the third is much nicer. 83



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
timberwolf97

3:16pm Aug 30 2011

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Posts: 1,269

I agree with Yours ^-^

 Also, keep in mind that poems don't have to rhyme.

 

I had almost given up when I thought I lost my pen

I did not want to look for it again

Oh my stupid little pen

I hope you we're not stolen by the wren 

Or picked up by a hen

For what need do they have for you pen

I though the bolded line sounds kind of awkward. Sometimes if your stanzas have to many lines, the poem just doesn't flow. Try to have an equal number of lines in each stanza. It doesn't have to consistent, but it shouldn't be :

First stanza: 4 lines

Second: 2 lines

Thrid: 4 lines

Fourth: 3 lines

Get what I mean?

You're a great writer, and poems are often hard to do. All I can say is, keep writing and don't stop :)




If you really cared about animals more than humans...kindly feed yourself to the next starving wolf.
CH

6:44pm Aug 30 2011

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Posts: 7,283

Homg. I thought the first poem was really cute. LOL. xDD




Back from hiatus. Open to more roleplays!
petra13131

3:23am Sep 3 2011

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Posts: 36,303
Thanks for the comments guys.



YoursTruly

3:55pm Sep 3 2011

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Posts: 3,809

Also, for the last line;
The rocks always quite and me all alone.

I think you mean 'quiet', as in... silent, if you get what I mean. Not 'quite', i.e. 'that's quite intersting'.




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
petra13131

1:22am Sep 5 2011

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Posts: 36,303
Thank you for pointing that out Yours ,I didn't see that typo .



YoursTruly

4:10pm Sep 6 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Np. ^_^ I figured it was just a typo. Mah petra's too smart to make a mystake like that. >:3



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

4:10pm Sep 6 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Np. ^_^ I figured it was just a typo. Mah petra's too smart to make a mystake like that. >:3



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
srsmith

7:56pm Sep 9 2011

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Posts: 139
cool poems. check out mine sometime too: www.chelseasauthor.yolasite.com thx. :) keep writing.



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petra13131

8:07pm Sep 9 2011

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Posts: 36,303
Thanks and I will .



Raccoon

9:21pm Sep 12 2011

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Posts: 305
i like the last one best :D but the 1st is adorable



petra13131

4:08am Sep 13 2011

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Posts: 36,303
Thanks raccoon.



Raccoon

4:58pm Sep 13 2011

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Posts: 305
your welcome Duckeh <3



petra13131

9:22pm Sep 19 2011 (last edited on 9:25pm Sep 19 2011)

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Posts: 36,303


Hornet and the Butterfly

We cannot be together
you and I 
For I am like the hornet
and you a butterfly.
You are to different to me
and I would tear you apart
I'm sorry if I leave you
with a broken heart .

___________
This one was writen by me in April so a little while back I hope you enjoy it.




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