Kate's Woven Words


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Fox

3:06pm Jun 20 2011

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Posts: 2,721
I needed a place for all my old writing whatnots, and all those stories that kept crowding up the board.  An so here they are, my woven words.
 
 
 
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This first story is written about an old friend of mine.  Did I mention he's a cat?  Its been some time since this was written, and I know things have changed since.  But it reminds me of when I loved him more than anything else, though I couldn't have him </3 
 
 
 
 Living life at my mother’s home isn’t always easy.  Especially when a large black beast constantly stalks the premises, tail swaying, beady chocolate eyes surveying her surroundings.  Of course calling her a beast may be an exaggeration, after all, she is only a Pit bull.

And then there comes the time that I go to my father’s house.  I pack the belongings I wish to bring into my back pack, heading into the car and heaving a yawn.  When the short ride is over, I eagerly step towards the house, though I’m usually side-tracked when I see my favorite little kitty, Simba.  I rush over to him, picking him up, even though he obviously doesn’t like it.  I am always glad to see my family, though I’m always most pleased to see Simba.

Throughout the day, I will spend as much time as I can with the little guy.  Whenever I get the chance, I pet him, feeling the rumble of his soft purring.  He never purrs loud around me, probably to seem like a macho kitty.  If I decide to play video games, Simba will climb into my lap, swatting at my fingers as I press buttons and move joysticks on the controller.  When I decide to have a meal, he is not far behind.  I usually decide to share with him, but if I don’t he will make countless attempts to steal my food.  He will jump onto the table, and I will put him on the floor, he will claw and swat and my legs, and I will pick him up and move him, he will sit in my lap and slash his paws at my utensil, and finally, I will give him a light portion of my dish.  And then, I can hear him chomping away, the other kitties making futile attempts to take his reward.

After I’ve spent the day, it comes time to leave.  I will sit at the steps, waiting to be picked up, Simba close by somewhere.  If I’m very lucky, he will come and fall asleep next to me.  When the car pulls in, I rub him one last time, upset I can’t take him home with me.  As I hop into the passenger seat of the car, I can’t even utter a look back at him.  I know his honey-golden eyes are shining my way, asking why I’m abandoning him.  He will wonder if I’ll ever come back.

As I arrive home again with my mother, I feel a strong guilt, thinking only about my kitty.  I shoot a harsh stare at the black beast, forgetting it’s not her fault.  But I know she is the reason I can’t have my kitty with me.

Even as I’m ready to sleep, Simba is the only thing on my mind.  I ponder his feelings for a good amount of time, and then drift off, missing my little kitty deeply.
 
 
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Fox

3:06pm Jun 20 2011 (last edited on 3:09pm Jun 20 2011)

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Posts: 2,721
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This story is written about...  Well, a snow day I suppose.  Not your average snow day, though.  This was written a while ago as well, probably due to my love for the Winter months. 
 
 
 The frigid winter air filled my nostrils as I woke up early that Saturday morning.  Before I even got out of bed I knew what had happened overnight.  Snow. 
The sun hadn’t even risen yet, still shivering back in the depths of the sky.  The dark clouds above showed signs that the storm hadn’t completely passed, and there was more in store later.

I helped myself to a plate of steaming pancakes, sweet syrup sticking around the edges of my lips.  When I’d finished the final bite I was eager to suit up and explore the pristine wonderland that had been set by nature.  On went my wooly hat, and a thick sweater, a pair of mittens,  and all the cozy apparel I had in my closet.

The first step was the hardest, I didn’t want to mar the perfect sheet of snow that had covered the earth so evenly.  But once I was out, I was out.  Moving with stealth, I made my way to the woods that bordered the property. 

I had sudden urge to peek upwards, and for good reason.  Frosty flakes of snow began to dance down from the sky in a flawless ballet, collecting on the ground one by one, several of them collapsing on my nose and melting away in defeat.  The chilling breeze swept by, cooling me down to the bone.

The barren tree tops were now coated in an elegant white cloak, and it was a scene of pure beauty, the falling flakes, the graceful trees that swayed in the occasional breeze, the overall veil of white magic that surrounded me.

And then I saw it.  There, set in the center of a clearing, was a spire of what appeared to be solid ice, ascending up into the sky.  The surrounding trees seemed to bend towards it in awe, both them and I amazed at the breathtaking sight before me.  Curiosity set in, I had to climb to the top.

A narrow and rather unsafe looking stairwell was built into the side of the spire, spiraling around it.  Summoning up my courage I began to progress up the stairs, taking every step with extreme caution.

It took a decent amount of time to get to the pinnacle, which was completely flat and smooth.  It was also very slick, and I had to try hard not to slip and slide.  Taking a glance down, I got a feeling that at any moment the structure could collapse, and I’d crash hard into the ground. 

The only thing up here with me was a chair composed of ice and dusted with a pinch of snow.  I needed a good rest after adventuring up the tower, and I sat down in the chair without a second thought.  It felt surprisingly warm, and I couldn’t help but drift into a snooze.

When I awoke, I lifted my head, wondering just how long I’d slept.  To my great surprise, I was no longer resting in a chair on top a tall spire of ice, but I was instead laying in my own bed.  I peeked out the window with confusion.  The land was still blanketed in snow, and upon further inspection, I could see a set of footprints slinking in the direction of the woods.  I scratched my head, perplexed.  Had it been a dream?  If so, what would explain the footprints?  If not, how had I ended up back in my bed?  It was a mystery, and the only way to find out what had really happened would be to journey outside and back to the woods.  I had to check if the spire really existed, or if had been my imagination.  Determined, I suited up and sprang for the outdoors, a broad grin on my face.
 
 
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Fox

3:06pm Jun 20 2011 (last edited on 3:24pm Jun 20 2011)

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Posts: 2,721
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The following passage was written for my English class in the late Fall.  It takes place in the future, when Earth is trashed and pretty much useless.  A bandit in search of the extinct resource of gold has a change of heart <3   Sorry for any strange spacing on this one, it was originally double- spaced for MLA format.
 
 A Hopeful Past

Assembled in a line were the five of us, children who were eager to earn some cash in any way possible.  Ever since my family had been killed by a common disease that spread through the polluted air, I had needed to support myself, which was extremely tough considering money was tight in these times.  Eyes shifting upwards, I glared at a tall, thin man who had entered the room.  He pushed his glasses up his nose bridge, surveying the lot of us.
“Very well then, let me explain our situation.”  He paused, gesturing to the wall behind him.  It was hardly a wall at all; it was more of a gigantic television screen that would make any present day gamer stare in awe.
A picture flashed on the screen, displaying the horrid fate that had befallen the Earth.  The grass was brown and lifeless, as were the trees.  Flowers were nonexistent, vegetation was limited, and many animals had gone extinct long ago.
“As you can see, the Earth is hardly able to support life.  It has become overpopulated, polluted, and unbearably hot in temperature.  It is time we gave up on this withering planet and moved on, and thanks to a few talented scientists we can.  After long hours of hard work and frustration, a ship has been constructed that will fly us to a new way of life.  We have chosen our target planet, named Irinth, and it is even more beautiful than Earth was in its glory days.  There is a catch however.”  He sighed.  “The ship will only run on a long gone resource, gold.  Why the ship can only be fueled by gold, I haven’t a clue.”  He froze, shaking his head.  On the screen behind him flashed an image of a high-tech device that closely resembled a wrist watch.
“This is a proto-type time travel device.  If successful, it will take you back to the year 2010.”  I felt the need to interrupt.
“And if it is unsuccessful?”  There was a long, awkward period of silence.
“It is possible that you will be taken to a random time period, in the future or past, and perhaps become stuck there.”  A worried mumbling erupted among our small group.
“The risk is great, I understand that, but the reward is far greater.  The ship can only hold so many.  You bring back a decent portion of gold and not only do you get compensated, you will also be guaranteed a place aboard the ship.  And your families can come along, too.”  When he mentioned family, my eyes were stricken with sorrow.
“Oh, and also, these time-traveling devices only have enough juice for a round trip.  That means you get one chance.  You break your device, and you are out of luck.  Any questions?…  No?  Okay then, here, there is a device for each of you.”
We all collected our devices with expressions that were eager and nervous at the same time.
“That large button on the front, the blue one, press that when you are ready to go.  The devices are preset to bring you to 2010 now, and to 3175 when you come back.  You have twenty days to gather as much gold as you can.  When twenty days are up, I expect you all to report back.  Also, when you are in the processes of gathering gold, don’t go robbing a jewelry store or anything like that.  Try to be discreet with your thefts.”  His lips curled into a parting grin, and I pressed the button and crossed my fingers.
It was with a haze that I awoke.  The frigid winter breeze embraced me and I began to shudder.  I had never experienced weather like this before, and because I was so used to being in a scorching climate this was equivalent to being trapped in a freezer.  I tried to contain my frantic shivers, but to no avail.  My teeth began to chatter maniacally, and I decided it was best to find somewhere warm.  It was then that a form of precipitation I hadn’t recognized began to fall from above.  White flakes danced down from the heavens in a flawless ballet, several of them collapsing on my nose and melting away in defeat.  Curious, I held out a hand and caught one of these flakes.
“Is this…  Ice?”  I stared at it, baffled.
“It’s snow, silly!”  A tiny voice projected my way.  I shifted my gaze and my eyes met up with a young girl, no older than six years old.
“Uh, sorry, I just moved here and I’ve never-” The young girl cut me off.
“Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?  You’re going to get sick.”  She sounded as though she was worried.  “Come home with me, we can play together.  I don‘t have many friends so I‘m always lonely, but you will come play with me, right?”
“Alright.”  The only way I could have said no was if I lacked a heart.
“Yay!”  She clasped my hand and led me along a trail that wound through the wooded area.  I took in the sight of the trees, for there were so very few in my time period.  It was approximately ten minutes before we arrived at a brown colored home, slightly large in size.  From the chimney smoke rose up, giving the house a cozy appearance.  I was hesitant to go through the front door, but the girl pulled me along.
“Who’s your friend, Rosa?”  A bold voice echoed from across the room.
“Daddy!  This is, um?”
“Amarazi.”  I stated, smiling friendly.
“Well that’s a unique name.”  Rosa’s father commented.
“You can call me Amara.”  I heard a timer sounding in the distance.
“Chicken’s done!”  Rosa’s father scuttled away in a hurried fashion.
“Oh, I have to introduce you to Zane and Terri!”  Rosa exclaimed with excitement.
I was led down a narrow hallway and into a small bedroom.  There sat a girl who looked to be several years older than myself.
“So you brought a friend home, huh?  I’m Terri.”  My eyes scanned over this new acquaintance.   Her chin-length dirty blond hair complemented her green eyes and the freckles on her cheeks.  Before I could properly introduce myself, I was yanked away and led further down the hall.  Together, Rosa and I stopped at a closed door.  Without as much as a knock, the over enthusiastic child forced the door open, dragging me into the room.
“Zane!”  She bellowed at a volume that was far louder than necessary.
“Rosa, jeez, inside voice please.  No rhyme intended.”  He paused, his sapphire eyes shifting to glance in my direction.  “And who is this?”
“This is my new friend, Amara.”  Rosa replied.
“Hello there, I’m Zane.  Sorry if my sister is being a nuisance, she can be annoying at times.”  He probably read my ex
pression and realized I was a little nervous and uncomfortable.
“Hey!”  Rosa pouted.  “I’m not annoying.”
“Really, she’s been fine.”  My soft gaze grew solid as I froze in realization.  There, around his neck, was a necklace of gold.  It looked to be genuine, but I didn’t know for sure.
“Is something the matter?”  Zane cast a glare with a subtle hint of suspicion.
“Oh, it’s nothing.”  My innocent smile hid mischief.
A brief pause overcame our small group.
“Rosa, why don’t you go help dad with dinner?”  Zane suggested.  Without a word, Rosa skittered away.
Now, it was just the pair of us, and Zane peered over at me.
“So, where do you live?”  He asked.
“I’m not sure exactly.  Just moved here.”
“Oh, so you don’t know your way around, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”  I knew I’d have to lie my way through all this.  “Is your mother at work?”  I made an attempt at changing the subject.
The somber glint in Zane’s eyes told me everything.
“I’m sorry.  I know what it feels like to lose a family member.”  For once it seemed as though I had something in common with someone.  I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for this family.
“Dinner’s ready!”  My ears flooded with the sound of Rosa’s cheerful voice.
“C’mon, I’m sure my father wont mind if you join us for dinner.”  Zane showed a kind smile.
Together we walked out to the dining room, and I took a seat at the table between Rosa and Terri.  Zane settled adjacent to Rosa.  Their father was tardy, and he came in carrying plates and silverware for everyone.  He passed each of us dining materials, and then claimed his seat.  Our meals were dealt out, and for several minutes we all dug in silently.
“Snow’s awful deep.  I don’t think it’s safe to even try to get home, Amara.”  The father glared out the window with worry.  “Maybe you should call your parents and see if you can stay the night here.”
“Alright.”
“Phone’s over there.”  He gestured to a small desk, the phone perched on top.  I wandered over to it, taking it off the hook and pretending to press a few buttons.  I then placed it to my ear and had a brief conversation with nobody.
“Yeah, I can stay.”  I announced after hanging the phone up.
“I’ll set her up in the guest bedroom.”  Zane said, rising from his seat and leading me down the hall.  I stepped into the bedroom, decorated with sky blue walls and pure white carpeting.
“How old are you, by the way?”  I was asked by Zane.
“Fourteen.  And you?”
“Fourteen.  Almost fifteen.”  He replied.  “I knew you looked about my age.”  He smoothed his hair with his hand.  His hair was almost identical to Terri’s, chin length and dirty blond.
“I’ll let you get some rest, it’s getting late.”  With those words he departed the room, leaving me all alone.
I slept like a rock that night.  The bed felt just as I imagined clouds did, soft and cushiony.  I was hesitant to leave the comfort and warmth of the blankets, but eventually I stumbled up to the mirror, my honey colored eyes peering back at me.  I grabbed a nearby hairbrush and began to work the tangles out of my shoulder length hair.  My locks were of a deep green shade, nearly black.  
I examined my figure.  I was about average weight for my height of five feet and four inches.  After I finished looking in the mirror, I made my way to the living room.  Zane and Rosa were nestled on the couch.
“May I make a phone call?  I need to talk to my parents.”  I was planning something.
“Sure.”
I went to the dining room and grabbed the phone off the hook, pretending to press buttons once more and then chatting whenever someone was nearby.  This time, I was on the phone for about seven minutes.  I hung up, making a false ex
pression full of anguish.  I did everything I could to make my eyes water, walking out to the living room.
“What’s the matter?”  Rosa asked when she saw my fake tears.
“My home burnt down last night.  None of my family survived.”  I said, my voice full of sadness.
“That’s awful.”  Zane gave a sympathetic glance.
“I have nowhere to go.  Where will I live?”  I couldn’t believe they were falling for this.
“Maybe you could stay with us!”  Rosa exclaimed with her usual excitement.
“You really think I could?”
“I bet if dad heard what happened he’d be happy to give you a place to stay, for now at least.”  Zane wore a hopeful grin.  “Dad!”  He called, summoning his father to the living room.  We explained the situation to him and discussed a few things before we came to a solution.  I was allowed to stay there for the time being.  Smiles spread across the faces of everyone in the room.
I could hardly believe that seventeen days had passed from the time I arrived in the year 2010.  Since I had been allowed to stay with this gullible family I had accomplished very much.  I managed to learn a little bit of necessary info about this time period, all the while being very sure to keep my true identity hidden.  I was now positive that my target, Zane’s necklace, was real gold.  Now that his guard was down, I planned to take it from him while he was asleep the coming night.  But I couldn’t help but feel as though it wasn’t the right thing to do.  After staying with this family for a while, I had come to actually admire them.  But it was too late to turn back, I’d come too far for that.
The moment of truth had arrived, and everyone in the house was sound asleep.  I snuck down the hall to Zane’s room.  He looked calm and peaceful in his deep and relaxed slumber.  Around his neck was the very necklace I’d had my eyes set on since day one.  Ever-so-gently, I removed the necklace.  I had to pause a few times to ensure he didn’t wake up.  How awkward that would be, for him to awake to his necklace being stolen right off him.  With the necklace now in my possession, I hung it around my neck in a triumphant fashion, and I scanned the home for some paper and a pen.  When I found what I needed, I hastily scrawled a note that read ‘Sorry I deceived you, but you made it far too easy.  It’s only fair that I tell you who I really am.  Believe it or not, I have been sent from the future to steal gold.  I promise you that I will not bother your family anymore, so you don’t have to worry.  In fact, I will be surprised if we even meet again.  Yours truly, Amarazi.’  I placed the note on Zane’s dresser.
Quiet as a mouse, I ventured out the front door.  The snow under my feet crunched.  The weather had been snowy ever since I arrived in this time period.  Moonlight shimmered down and guided me through the woods.  I hadn’t a clue where I was going; I just knew I had to get far away from this family before I changed my mind.
“What’re you doing out this late?”  A mysterious yet familiar voice sounded beside me.  I felt a shudder run down my spine.  I turned to look, but I could only see an outline.  “Follow me.”  My hand was grasped and I was led through the vast woods that went on in all directions.  After a few minutes, we were finally out of the woods and in the bustling streets of a densely populated city.  I could see my mystery guest now.  It was Sawyer, one of my fellow time travelers.
“You know, I was beginning to think I was the only one who made it to the right time period.  The other three, they didn’t make it.”  Sawyer informed sadly.
“What?  I didn’t realize the risk was so great.”  I shook my head, glad I made it here okay.
“Isn’t the city wonderful?”  Sawyer was mesmerized by the neon lights and enormous buildings that occupied the area.  My glare shifted in the same direction as his.  It was quite a sight to behold, far greater than anything we were used to.
“It’s great.  Too bad we have to go back in less than a week.”
“Yeah, but I have to go home.  My family is counting on me.”  He paused for a second.  I noticed that his eyes were surveying me, but I didn’t think anything of it.  “You want to spend the night with me?  I’ve been staying in an apartment not far from here.”
“Really?  That’d be great.”  I gave a thankful grin and he mirrored it, except his grin was a little lopsided.  I began to follow him down the sidewalk, and we chattered about a bunch of little topics.
When we arrived at the apartment building, he showed me around.  He offered me the bed, settling to sleep on the couch.  Tired, I immediately fell into a sound slumber.
I awoke late the next morning.  I was quick to notice Sawyer was gone.  I figured he had run out for something, and I simply got up and did my routine look in the mirror.  After just moments, my eyes grew wide in shock.  The necklace was gone.  I was ready to shout as loud as I could.
It was easy to piece it all together.  He had used the same trick I did, got me off my guard and then swiped it from under my nose.  But I was determined to get that necklace back.
I began to search the apartment for clues to his whereabouts.  He couldn’t have gotten too far.  I went through tons of useless junk before I found some cash, which I thought might come in handy.  More importantly, I found a train schedule.  One departing time had been circled.
“Eleven o’clock.  Shoot, that’s only twenty minutes away!”
I tucked the train schedule away and dashed out of the apartment as fast as I could, hailing a cab.
“Can you take me to the train station?”  I showed him the train schedule, which had the address to the station.  I informed him I was in a rush and he understood and took off, trying hard not to break the speed limit.
We arrived at the train station about fifteen minutes later, and I rapidly paid the cab driver.
“Keep the change!”  I hustled away, coming up to the solitary train.  It was not a very busy station, and the single train there was small, holding mostly cargo.
Before I could find a way to board the train, it began to pull away, steadily picking up speed.  I lined up close to it, noticing a section of the train that was open.  When I was parallel to the opening, I took a leap of faith.
Meanwhile, at his home, Zane was just waking up.  He looked at the time, embarrassed at how much he slept in.  Immediately, he felt something was wrong.
“My necklace!”  He cried out.
Several minutes passed before he read the note left on his dresser.  His ex
pression showed a mixture of anger and sadness.  He felt betrayed.  He decided to show the rest of his family the note I had left.
I was relieved when I successfully landed in the train cart.  It had no seating, completely empty.
“Glad you could make it.”  A sinister voice called to me.
“Sawyer!”  I shot him a harsh glare.
“I assume you came for this.”  He held out the necklace and dangled it in front of me, then stashing it away.
“Give it back!”  I demanded.
“What makes you think I’d just give it to you?”  He asked, lips curling into a smirk.
“Looks like I have to take it by force.”  I threatened.
“I’m so scared.”  He mocked with sarcasm, letting out a chuckle.
Bubbling with anger, I thrust myself at him, bowling him over.  He tossed me aside, getting off the ground and dusting himself off.  I came at him again, punching and flailing my arms in every direction, and he forced me backwards.  I mustered up all my strength and came charging in his direction, striking him head on.  The side of the train car being open, the both of us came tumbling rapidly towards the solid Earth.
It was a harsh landing, and I ended up with bruises and minor wounds.  Sawyer, on the other hand, was conveniently unconscious.  I hobbled shakily to my feet, reclaiming the necklace from him.  I smiled with victory, but then decided this necklace should be with its rightful owner.
Standing outside the familiar brown house, I contemplated on how to do this.  Surely they wouldn’t forgive me just like that, so I decided to be sneaky about it.  I simply placed the necklace on the doorstep, sprinting away before I was spotted.  I didn’t realize that I was being watched, however.  From inside the house, a young girl grinned with a joyful smile, her eyes set on me.  She resembled Goldilocks, with her curly blonde hair.  I’m sure she thought what I did was just right.
The previous night I had decided to sleep in the dark depths of a spooky little cave I located.  Today was the day I had to go back to my own time, empty handed.  I heaved a sigh, stepping outside the cave.  I stood there, glaring down at my time travel device.  I moved a finger to press the large blue button on the front, stopping just short of it.  It felt as though I had something to accomplish still.  Footsteps sounded nearby, and I turned my head to see who it was.  It was the last person I expected to see.
“Sawyer?!  I don’t have the necklace anymore.”
“That’s not what I want.”  He sounded desperate.  “I’m so glad I found you in time.”
I was very confused at this point.  Why would he be glad to see me after our conflict?
“Look.”  He lifted his arm, showing me his severely damaged time travel device.  “It’s broken.  It happened when I fell out of the train.”
“I can’t fix it.”  I was beginning to catch on to what he wanted.
“But your’s is fine.  You have to let me use it.  I have to see my family again.”  He looked at me as though I was his only hope, and I guess I was.
I was hesitant to respond.  “Okay.”  And with that I removed the device from my wrist, handing it to him.
“You don’t know how much I appreciate this.”  He gave me the widest, happiest grin I’d ever seen.
“Goodbye, I hope we cross paths again someday.”  As he spoke those parting words, he pressed the button, disappearing from view in an instant.  I stood there for a moment, assuring myself that this was the right decision.  After all, I had nothing to go back to.
A confident smirk arose on my face as I stood outside the door of that same familiar home.  The one with the stream of smoke dancing up from the chimney.  I knocked on the door eagerly, hoping I’d be forgiven and welcomed in.  When the door did open, I was yanked in by a very happy young girl who had been waiting for her friend to return.
I knew I’d have to explain many things, and I knew they’d be reluctant to believe most of what I had to say, but it felt so wonderful to have a family again.  In the end, I was glad to have returned the necklace, and I was glad that I had let Sawyer go to the future in place of myself.
 
  
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I\'m back.
Fox

3:06pm Jun 20 2011 (last edited on 3:25pm Jun 20 2011)

Normal User


Posts: 2,721
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You may have seen this little story-ish thing in the forum here already.  I figured I'd post it here also, just for organiziation and whatnot, and to keep track of it.  It was inspired by my taste for dark chocolate, which I haven't always had. 
 
 The Bitter Taste Of Dark Chocolate
 
“I don’t like dark chocolate.”  I remember speaking that same phrase every time you offered me a piece.  And then you’d reply with something along these lines: “But its better for you than milk chocolate.  And white chocolate.”  Which I admit, is true.  But it was such a deceitful substance, luring you in with its harmless appearance.  And then you take a bite, only to realize its not that same sugary treat you’ve become so accustomed to.

You used to buy it all the time, as the pair of us would saunter through town together gleefully, you always yanking me aside to visit the candy store.

“Do you want a piece?”  You always offered.

“I don’t like dark chocolate.”  And that same response I gave every time.

But no matter how many times I rejected, you kindly offered me a piece of your treasure each time the wooden door to the candy store closed behind your figure, aglow with satisfaction.

The months of summer passed so quickly, but we’d made our fair share of trips to the candy shop.  You informed me you may be moing away soon, but I thought little of it.
 
 
I recall that frigid winter day, as I stood outside the train you boarded.  We said our good- byes, and we shared a stream of tears.  You lowered your hand to me, clasped with a parting gift.  When you released your gentle grip, I was left with a lone piece of dark chocolate.

Before my signature phrase could be spoken the train door shut, the locomotive pulling off and leaving me in solitude.  I peered down at my palm, which held the tiny present.

Hesitantly, I unwrapped the rich brown square, allowing some of the chocolate to melt in my hand before slowly placing it in my mouth.  That bitter hint made me cringe.  But I’d never taken a chance prior to this to realize just how smooth and silky dark chocolate was, or to notice the sweet undertone it carried.  Before I knew it, the treat was gone, leaving only the bittersweet aftertaste.

And at this point, I related dark chocolate to life itself.  Bitter, and yet sweet at the same time.  Gone as quick as it is enjoyed.

Ever since, I have eaten my share of dark chocolate, trying to enjoy both the sweet and the bitter.  And I have lived my life the same way. 
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 



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Fox

3:19pm Jun 20 2011 (last edited on 3:28pm Jun 20 2011)

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 
I wrote this sometime today, for whatever reason.  Just a short little thing for those who don't have the patience, time, or interest to read my longer work ^_^ 
 
Hey, did you know?  Did you know I was present that night?  I saw you there, standing with him.  And I couldn’t help but notice you were happy, overjoyed in fact.  I thought I was the one for you, that’s what you always told me, but by the light of the cobalt skies I see it was all a lie.

We can hardly do so much as glance at each other these days, and its as though life has lost its flavor.  I try to remember, to go back to those days, but even my dreams are tainted with suspicion, betrayal, and most of all- loneliness.

They say there are many fish in the sea, but its hard to release that trophy catch, the one you’ve worked so hard to reel in.  Though the two of us, we know if we continue like this we’ll both be torn at heart.  This is why we must part ways.

Finally, I saw you happy again and believe me, I’ve longed for that.  When you are happy, I am happy, and simultaneously, we walk our separate paths, each with our future at close reach.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 



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Fox

3:19pm Jun 20 2011

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-Reserved-



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Fox

4:28pm Jun 21 2011

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-Bump/ Possible Reservation-



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Fox

7:37pm Jun 23 2011

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-Anybody?  D;-



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Fox

9:43am Jun 25 2011

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-Nibbles pencil as she waits-



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Fox

3:36pm Jun 27 2011

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-Reads Newspaper while wearing a monocle-



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Fox

10:35pm Jun 28 2011

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-Dances because she knows nobody is watching-



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Raru

5:38am Jul 1 2011

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Review of 'A Hopeful Past'

Firstly, you need to be more adventurous with your words and not stick to common cliches! Secondly, as a short story don't be afraid about how long it may get at first, in the end the whole thing is rather rush. First I'm in the future and then the next thing I knew, they'd snap on a watch and went to the past. If you had a page/word limit then this wouldn't have actually been the best story for it xD; not saying it's bad but it needs more to grow into something absolutely lovely!

Also, I've noticed that when you realised something sounds off, you become aware of it. You pointed out that they don't understand why they'd need gold or the sentence was rhyming but that shouldn't be something they'd notice. If you don't understand why, try to make something reasonable up! Or don't point out the absurdity!

Again, the thing about most people and 1st-person, is that they don't make them sound like a person's mind. You need to find a way to write so that you can subtly describe everything without losing the sense that this is a child.

 But other than that, don't be offended by my opinion! I'm merely offering help and in the end, I am only one person reviewing it! c: Stories like these have never been my cup of tea but others will probably find it enjoyable! Just don't give up writing and always try your best to improve!





Fox

12:54pm Jul 1 2011

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I actually got a hundred for it in my 9th grade English class XD  She told me it was well written, in fact. 

And by children, they were teens.  Guess I could have made that more clear, but oh well.  I try.

I know, I'm not the best writer, and I probably make the better writers confused at times.  But its about all I've got, even if my talent for it is miniscule.  Yeah, I stink at pretty much everything, but that's life, eh?  Gotta work with what you have.

At least someone read it and knows my work exists ^.^  Even if you don't really like it.

Ah, I feel bad for replying with such a skimpy post. 




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Raru

9:21pm Jul 1 2011

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Ahaha, when I said I don't like it, it's only because it's not the type of stories I enjoy reading, m'dear! And my taste is very...erm, unorthodox anyhow?

You've got a talent for it c: it's just all about improving at the moment, for me I only give critiques because I feel there is potential and I wanted to say that your stuff is worth reading! I dunno, when I read and you want a comment I'm sort of really serious about it xD If it was bad, I wouldn't even give a passing glance!

Like I said, my opinion counts for only one person! I mean, if your teacher and friends praised it, then that means something! (I myself never trust positive comments from school hahaha)

I'm mainly writing to say that no matter what happens, someone will read it and if they make the effort to comment that means it was worth their time! writin is a lot harder to attract people with and when you can, it does mean something!





Fox

11:20pm Jul 1 2011

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You just lit up my eyes.  And my heart <3

And I know, I have room for improvement.  But there's always room for improvement, no?  I want to expand my vocabulary first, but I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do that.

I'm at a loss for words.  Makes me happy that you said my work is worth reading ^_^  Maybe someday I'll write something that satisfies your tastes.




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Raru

11:42pm Jul 1 2011

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Posts: 583

The best way to improve vocabulary is just usually reading anyhow c: I can't think of anything more successful!

Hee, maybe you will. Who knows huh? c: just keep writing no matter the obstacles!





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