I bite my lip til it bleeds.Breathing in deeply the icy frozen air makes my lungs sting deep inside.Tears stream down my face,rolling down and falling into the white feathery snow.Nothing matters anymore not pain,fear,anger,happiness.Not even the beating of my own heart anymore.I dont care and i dont think ill ever care again.I hold the dry wooden handle of the knife in my hand,the silver of the blade shines in the moonlight and reflects the pure snoflakes and the fall from above,from heaven.I think about Jake with her,holding her close to his heart he should be holding me anger and depression fills where love once stood.I cant go on he was my world i loved him more than my mind knows.Lifting the blade and holding it to my wrist i close my eyes and slice in deep,i feel the pang of pain in my wrist and it makes me feel alive.I watch the crimson liquid drip down off my pale skin into the once pure snow, goodbye jake i always love you......

The concept is all right. However, I only have one bit of advice for you: try to avoid using any form of chatspeak or false punctuation. Check for any mispelled words or unnecessary parts that you could remove before revealing to be critiqued.

Furthermore I'd like to ask if it's a novel opening, poem or something else altogether. It helps reviewing easier if there was more background.

I feel pain in my heart,But have i ever felt betreyal have i ever been hurt?or is the hurt not feeling those things to be numb,and forever yerning for pure and sacred even if it would cost my life? for a second of happiness? to feel what others have felt?to be where others have been?For something has special and unspecial exsistant and nonexistant as love?....YES.

Love bleeds

~Rocca