Always a Price to Pay


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Arrow

7:29pm Aug 15 2011 (last edited on 7:31pm Aug 15 2011)

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This is an odd piece. It is unlike any other poems I had written and I think I picked up on the style at writer's camp. It took me quite a while and I had no intention of any type of rhyme in it. When I went back to read, I was extremely surprised to find that my brain had written some words that rhymed. There's no scheme, which I like. Criticism is helpful because I know this is definitely one of my crappier pieces, but enjoy all the same. ~

Always a Price to Pay

we stumbled upon it as innocents,

our feet finding the way to go

and soon we emerged into

a small little grove

and found with our hearts

the fountain of youth.

 

fingers twined, we stepped in the water

and doused ourselves with life.

at sixteen and in love we stayed

and went about our years by days.

 

every so often, we would return

to wash forth new lives,

but one day we sought a memory-

the first kiss that we shared.

but we couldn’t find the place or town

or when or how

or why.

 

so they say everything has a price

and we found that ours had been paid

All memories of one year lost to every five

we gained.

 

one life for every five;

we found it just as fair

so we continued to bathe in youth,

in love with what we shared.

 

In love we stayed but inevitably,

the bonds began to break.

 

As time continued to pass

and the future took hold its claim

we found ourselves questioning.

why wasn’t it the same?

 

why is it our lips sought the other?

why is it our hands intertwine?

why is it my eyes so captivate him

as his so captivates mine.

 

Why

were we

in Love?

 

The memories were long since gone

 

now here we stand in this fountain of youth,

letting water run down our skin,

forgetting everything that made us who

and how and why we lived.






hello my name is elder price
Dragonstar

9:24pm Aug 15 2011

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Posts: 5,310

 

O.O

I like it....






Nothing can stop the US Air Force except lightning within five nautical miles.

SerenitySorrow

12:30pm Aug 16 2011

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Posts: 3,991
Dude LOVE it. And I normally don't like poems like that but that was stellar, you are amazing Shad ^^



Its been a while but im back~ If youre an old RP buddy hit me up Id love to reconnect.
Detneth106

12:35pm Aug 16 2011

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Posts: 9,641
Crap. Shad, this is really deep and amazing and I almost cried at the end (srs). D: I swear, that poem's like a non-walking, non-breathing, non-living metaphor. xD

(Ignore meeeeee. I just had like, sugar on top of sugar and I'm so hyper 'cause you're online. C8)




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Arrow

1:37pm Aug 16 2011

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Posts: 3,828
Whoo, positive comments. It took me a bit to write this, but I didn't think it was that great. o_O
Thanks for making me value this more, guys. <333 xD





hello my name is elder price
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