The Last Stand (My Written Story)


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Toast

10:53pm Oct 22 2010

Normal User


Posts: 237

                                       Prolouge

    "Why? Answer me!" "What do I have to answer!?", Tory, lion shapeshifter by nature, asks. "Why are you taking the human's side of this!?", Grain, panther shapeshifter by heart, said. "Regardless of what humans do, I could care less about the clan!", Tory responded. Grain's silver eyes glared into Tory's eyes. "If it wasn't for those humans being on our land I would never be this angry. And now Tory, you side with them, a traitor to the clan!", she clenched her fists. Several types of big cats surrounded Tory. "Why kill me Grain? After the countless times I've saved your life!?" "The past doesn't mean anything to me! Kill him!" Rosa, a leopard, and Spider, a cougar, jumped at Tory and started biting and clawing him to pieces. Snikk, a tiger dived at Tory's legs. The air filled with Tory's yells and screams, and blood tainted the ground.

     Rosa turned to Grain, "The humans know too much of our land because of Tory, what should we do?", she questioned. "If any humans enter our territory, report back to me, I will deal with it", Grain answered.

 Now tell me if this is interesting and if I should make chapter 1!




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Toast

10:57am Nov 7 2010

Normal User


Posts: 237
just ignore this as no one seems to care anyway



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SerenityMist

9:57am Nov 8 2010

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Posts: 312
Not my kind of story, but it's good either way :) and just coz no one has bothered to post anything doesn't mean they don't care, some people are just too lazy or they probs haven't read it. And it doesn't matter if they don't care, shouldn't stop you from writing, if you like to write :)
 
SerenityMist xx 



"Imagine the things you could do, if you just let your imagination run wild" ~ SerenityMist ;) "OMGZ It's Serenity! NO-WAI!" (sayz you) --- YES-WAI :D I has posted in this thread ;) Feel Special. Am currently looking for a SILVER UILUS FOR KIR if you have one let me know :)
lazerwolf

4:44pm Nov 10 2010

Normal User


Posts: 10
I agree with Serenity on both counts. Very good, just a little jammed together and hard to read. But it could very easily be continued, and with a small amount of tweaking, it could be very good ^.^
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