This is just the beginning of a story that I'm going to try writing out to the end, I would really love some feedback.  Just please don't post about my punctuation.  I normally write poetry and have trouble with it.  I'm working on it.

                I live in a time of war, rot, murder, and decay.

Long ago people found a cure for death, and used it on babies.  But they didn’t think their actions through.  People live forever now, and they never stop populating, it never stops.  And they keep making the life drug stronger.  They keep making it harder to die.

I’m part of what’s called the last generation.  The last generation is the smallest.  The last generation was made invincible, we were made to kill all of the overpopulators and turn back the clock to what it was like before the life drug.  We were made to kill all of the forever livers.  But we ourselves, we’ll never die.  No matter how much we want to.

I’m subject #912 or as everybody else calls me, Nascht, or Night.  I am the youngest, but I am the strongest.  They gave me too much of the life drug for my small body to be able to take.  It changed me, they said.  Made me the most ruthless.  The most bloodthirsty.

I’m not though, I’m nothing of the sort.  Neither is anybody else in the Last Generation.  We are all saddened by our existence and the reason for it.  We all wish for nothing other than death.  My brothers; Dunkel meaning Dark, Sterben meaning Death,  Name, Name, and Name, and my sisters; Tot also meaning Death, Morder meaning Killer, Name, and Name we all hate death.  No, we love death, we hate being the ones to bring it.

But, that’s what we were made for, so that’s what we do.  We have no choice.

~CHAPTER 1~

I looked at the man sadly, “I’m sorry sir…” I stabbed him, right in the heart just as the realization of who I am hit him.  I shook his blood off my blade as well as I could before I leaned down and closed his eyes and sheathed my blade.  'I'm sorry..."  I whispered again, before I ran off, swift as night.

“I did it” I said into the headpiece I had just thrown onto my head.  I didn’t use the handheld cell phone they gave me because I wanted to keep running, away from the poor man they had just made me kill.

“Very good” The voice sounded in my ear, I had to work really hard not to snarl or rip off my headset and the voice.  “Did you remember to grab his ID chip out of him?”  I cursed myself ad turned around, running back into the bloody smell he had started to give off since I had killed him.  I reached into his neck and removed the silver chip.

“I have it.”  I snapped at the voice.  My whole body shaking as the bloody smell started to activate the life drug they had given the Last Generation, the part that they changed, the part that went savage when confronted with the smell of blood too strongly.

“Good, head on back”  The voice said, “Good job on your hundredth kill, Nascht.”  The voice purred at me quietly, sounding like an afterthought.  I shuddered, I had killed 100 people now.  So many lives had been taken by these hands…

I had half a mind to just run away, and never go back.  Just stay away…  but I couldn’t, they needed my, my brothers and my sisters. So I ran back home, tears threatening to break free of my carefully constructed walls.

I stopped outside the gates to our house, looking up at the grey box shaped windowless thing. The land around it was covered with grayish colored dirt that nothing would grow in. We lived in a colorless world, all the people had sucked all the life out of it. Everything was either dark or a mute gray color.

I hated it, but I had color in my life. My sisters and brothers, they supplied my with color; Tot had dark tanned skin, bright neon green eyes, and hair the color of a young maple tree, too bad the last maple had died already; Morder had light peach skin, light light sky blue eyes, and soft wheat blond hair. She reminded me of a doll I had found once when I was younger, when there were still toys; Dunkel looks as his name would suggest, dark warm chocolate skin, matched with dark black brown hair and deep thoughtful green eyes.; Sterben looks like his twin sister(Tot) with his tanned skin and light brown hair that would seem dark in some lights, his eyes the same neon shade of green; and then there’s me; pale peach with dark maroon hair and dark blue green eyes. I’m dark, even though I’m so pale, I can hide right in front of somebody In the dark.

We all live together, we live like a family. With a mother and father as well, both they and we know that our last *censored*ignment will be to kill them, but we were allowed to put it off and all figure if we gain enough trust with the voices that lead us and kill them, we can destroy the drugs and disappear, letting everybody live out their wrong elongated lives.

I took a deep breath, making certain that my tears wouldn’t break free. I took another breath, holding this one and walked into the house. As soon as I stepped in I was bombarded with hugs from four sets of arms.

“Guys, get off of me.” I growled playfully at them all. “I need to go take a shower and scrub myself.” I said quietly, self-hatred filling my voice. They all stared at me, if I could kill myself they would be worried, but I couldn’t, so they all just shot me pitying looks.

They knew why I was going upstairs, I was going to scrub myself raw then try to drown myself. What I did after every kill. It never worked though, I never felt clean, and I never died. 

I like your plot, it sounds interesting. And you have good deion too. Keep writing, your story is shaping quite well.

And I thought I would give you name suggestions :)

• Muerte (Death in spanish)
• Sangre (Blood in spanish)
• Venganza (Vengeance in spanish)
• Убийца (Killer/as.sas.sin in Russian) 
• Темный (Dark in Russian)
• Froid/Frio (Cold in french/spanish)

I can offer mine. :3

I'll start off by saying I do quite like the plot. It reminds me of a poem we had to read in my English/Composition cl*censored* called The Delicate, Plummeting Bodies. I have to say I like your story more, and that's not just because I won't have to write and analysis paper on it.

You're deive but not overly deive and I like that. If would offer some name ideas, but at the moment I'm busy fussing over a poem... Thing that I just can't seem to word right. 

Also, unless you did this on purpose, when you're describing Morder you have "light" written twice when you mention her eyes. I have to point that out or else it'll eat at me.

@Fuzzle- I did do that on purpose, basically a she has VERY light eyes, just more attention directed at that, I thought, I write kind of the same way I talk, long rambling sentences and over enfisizing. (Stupid site don't have spell check...)

@Oakwood- Thank'ee, it means a lot to me to have people saying that.

Emphasizing. :) -Is guilty of using Word to make sure she spelled it correctly-.
Hm. Sounds like about how I write, the rambling part anyway.  And I get'cha now. I've just never seen someone repeat the word for emphasis. 'Least I don't think I have. Heavens knows I may have and just forgotten. And this just proves my point of my ramblings.

Anyway. Do keep keep writting. I'd like to see where you plan to take this story.