This is one of my *censored*ignments, if someone could help to say how to improve it, that would be great! :D

Edited verson:

THE ENVELOPE

An envelope sat on a gritty school desk. Insignificant grey weavings quietly covered the package as a loopy, italicized sc
ript gently accented the pearly-white paper in which the letter jacket was manufactured from. The edges were folded precisely, however the points were noticeably blunted from the absurd days of travelling. Still firmly glued down, the flap silently begged for the thin, paper door to be opened, much like the way a siren might have sang for an inhabited ship. The rain that poured outside the cl*censored*room could be subtly viewed through the flaky chunks of earth that caked the gl*censored*. Lightning flares; an abrupt blaze as scintillating as the blistering mid-day sun pierces through a smeared window, followed by a thundering roar of dissonancy. The envelope ripped open.

The exposed, parched sealing stuck like dry honey while other bits of disrupted paper hid the translucent adhesive. An innocent piece of blue paper – the colour you would find on a robin’s egg when spring first awoke – peeked out from the temporary enclosure. Unfolded, the letter became approximately three times the original size. The solid colour of the sheet was interrupted only by cautious creases along with three perfectly punched holes, allowing the document to fit snugly in to a three-ring binder. Mellifluously, the petite, black font flowed off the paper, through the looking gl*censored*, and leisurely seeped within the unbounded intellectual stronghold. In bold:

DUE: Monday, September, 13, 2010

The rain spluttered and ceased as a rainbow gracelessly adorned the murky heavens; a scorching pot of gold under a sunless sky.

An envelope sat on a gritty school desk. Insignificant grey weavings quietly covered the package, as a loopy, italicized sc
ript gently accented the pearly white paper in which the letter jacket was manufactured from.

Unnecessary comma after 'package'. "pearly white" should have a hyphen between it.

 The edges were folded precisely, however the points were noticeably blunted from the absurd days of traveling. Still firmly glued down, the flap silently begged for the thin, paper door to be opened, much like the way a siren might have sang for an inhabited ship.

You could put a semi-colon after 'precisely'. Regardless of what you chose to do, 'however' needs a colon after it. (If you're Canadian, traveling has two 'l's.) Unecessary comma after 'thin'. Change the comma after 'opened' to a period.

 Lighting flares, an abrupt blaze as scintillating as the blistering noon sun pierces through the smeared window, followed by a thundering roar of dissonancy. The envelope ripped open.

Another unecessary comma after 'flares'.

 The exposed parched sealing stuck like dry honey, while other bits of disrupted paper hid the translucent adhesive. An innocent piece of blue paper – the colour you would find on a robin’s egg, when spring first awoke – peeked out from the temporary enclosure.

A comma should go after 'exposed'. Remove the comma after 'honey'. Remove the comma after 'egg'.  Remove the spaces between the hyphen and turn it into a dash (type two hyphens).

 The solid colour of the sheet was interrupted only by cautious creases, along with three perfectly punched holes, allowing the document to fit snugly into a three ring binder.

Remove the comma after 'creases'. Put a space in the word 'into'. 'three ring' needs a hyphen.

 Mellifluously, the petite black font flowed off the paper, through the looking gl*censored*, and seeped within the unbounded intellectual stronghold. In bold:

DUE: Monday, September, 13, 2010

The rain spluttered and ceased, as a rainbow gracelessly adorned the murky heavens; a scorching pot of gold under a sunless sky.

A comma is needed after 'petite'. No comma after 'paper', 'gla.ss', and 'ceased'.

Pretty good writing. I really like it.

Thanks so much! :D

our as.signment was to pick a something ( a picture, a song, etc) and right from it. i chose the as.signment sheet he gave out. XD

LeTainted pointed out most of the stuff that was bugging me.

It is very nice, but it seems like it's dipping a bit towards purple prose... overly deive. I'm just nitpicking here, though, so don't mind me. I had to look up "scintillating". Do you use that word every day or did you prop open a thesaurus? 'Cause sometimes those fancy words are unnecessary. It certainly didn't add anything to the writing... it made me wonder why I'd never read or heard that word before, and I had to stop and look it up. xD

LOL, no i  actually know that word XD

yeah, i dont usually write with all these fancy words, it was the *censored*ignment really. XD

but it turned out the teacher really liked it, so :D smiley face for me! XD

You use it in every day conversation? D: For that, I guess you deserve a medal.

So the a.ssignment asked for it? What cla.ss is this exactly, when the teacher thinks purple prose is the bees knees? ... Creative writing? I wouldn't recommend too many fancy words even if the teacher likes it. Sure, if that's what he/she wants, have at it. But don't get dependent on fancy words. Like I said, they can be distracting and unnecessary. 

But anyway, besides my griping, good job!  =D 

no, not in everyday convo, i just know the word XD probably from reading :)

cl*censored* was enrich english >_> the teacher gave us an example he liked, so i followed the example. haha , he actually asked for a copy XD

Edit: *censored*ignment was to "flesh out" and describe the prompt using the five sences.. etc etc. 

thank you! i wont for.. other writings >_> XD

thanks! (: