Well, here is the start to a story I am writing, it is going to turn into a book at some point, but before I carry on I would like opinions.

I will post more in bits.

Melgor got slowly up from the hard, muddy ground and dusted himself of carefully, checking that no serious damage had been done, his blue eyes emotionless.

“This time do not dare come back!” bellowed his father in yet another drunken rage. Melgor pulled the torn collar of his once white shirt back into place as best he could as his father slammed the frail wooden door with a bang that resounded through the icy streets. Melgor glanced around at the neighbours who had come out of their warm houses just to gawk at yet another one of his fathers drunken rages.  Melgor knew he did not help himself by being the way he was when his father was drunk, which seemed to be a permanent state for him since his mother had gone, he had not needed her and he did not need his poor excuse for a father either. Melgor shrugged and flinched as he felt the beginnings of yet more bruises, he wiped the blood of his cut lip and turned to face the cold, empty street leading out of the village, he would not have returned anyway, he had bigger ambitions than to end up a sad drunkard like his dumb oaf of a father. Melgor’s eyes settled on the very distant outline of the Dark Elves homeland, his lips twisted into a malicious smile and his eyes narrowed into shining slits, much bigger ambitions than any one of the brainless villages could imagine. He would return and make sure the pathetic village and all its people and his father where wiped out, along with any one else who dared cross him. Melgor shivered in the winter air as it started to snow gently and the numbness that the shock of being belted half way to death had induced began to wear off. Melgor walked determinedly towards the darkness of the brooding forest, he half wondered if he would survive the freezing journey in the middle of winter in nothing but his blood stained, torn shirt and ragged trousers, his fingers where already numb. Melgor’s jaw clenched in determination the burning desire within him keeping him moving towards the forest, inspite of the numbing cold and the silent blanket of falling snow.

OMG! AMAZING! It's really good. I like it!

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I choose to critique.

D: I critique really hard, so I'm gonna say it's an extremely good concept before dealing a death blow.

1) You're speech is too formal. Instead of:

"“This time do not dare come back!”

Why not:

"Don't you dare come back this time!"

2) You use 'Melgor' as the start of too many sentences. They need to be more flowing.

Example:

Melgor shivered in the winter air as it started to snow gently and the numbness that the shock of being belted half way to death had induced began to wear off. Melgor walked determinedly towards the darkness of the brooding forest, he half wondered if he would survive the freezing journey in the middle of winter in nothing but his blood stained, torn shirt and ragged trousers, his fingers where already numb. Melgor’s jaw clenched in determination the burning desire within him keeping him moving towards the forest, inspite of the numbing cold and the silent blanket of falling snow.