Nightmare


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nononolick

12:55pm Dec 28 2009 (last edited on 5:07pm Dec 28 2009)

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This is based on someone I know, who had a nightmare like this sooo..

Intro/Chapter 1

The cresent moon that was hung in the night sky gave me enough light to see where I was. A feild with rather tall plants,I was in a corn feild. I kept walking, wanting to run, but I didnt. The leaves rustled as I walked, but even when I stopped I still heard the scraping sound of the leaves. Some one was there but I couldnt move, it was as if my mind and body were waiting for something.The sound of the leaves got faster and I could see the outline of a person. I ran, I could finally move. The sharp jagged leaves cut my arms as I ran and blood was running down my arms. I wasn't the fastest person in the world and soon the man caught up to me, about a foot away.The field was huge, and there was no place to hide. I could feel the mans knife work it was it's way throught my back. 

Ill finish it later. *scaryyyyy*




Why the cloud, Sunny?
nononolick

1:44pm Dec 28 2009

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aGGG bUMP :0



Why the cloud, Sunny?
nononolick

5:29pm Dec 28 2009 (last edited on 12:24pm Dec 29 2009)

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Posts: 3,002

 CHAPTER 2

I twitched, and woke up gasping for air. I sat on my bed then walked over to my dresser.I grabbed a pair of black acid-wash jeans and then a plain red shirt. I slid off my pajama pants and put on my pants. Then I switched the shirts.

"Mom," I yelled running down the stairs "Whats for breakfast?" "Breakfast?" She asked "Its already 1:00, dear."  "Youre kidding right...?" I asked running to the stove looking at the time. It read, 1:21pm. "I was supposed to work at Sidney's Salon at 12:45!" I cried "Well you better go now, hun!" She yelled as I ran out my door and got onto my bike.

 "Sug, youre late.You were supposed to be here at..." Sidney began to say  "I know, at 12:45.I slept too late." I enterupted. I walked over to the counter as a plump woman walked in. "Hello, welcome to Sidneys." I said in a plesent voice "Can I have a perm...And a manicure."Her voice was high and she had a brittish accent. "That will be 65 dollars even, we'll bill you once you're finished" I said smiling as she walked away. I imagined her butt would knock everyting off the shelves. An hour later Sisney said "Okay sug, you can go, but today youre only getting paid half." "Okay, see you on sunday." I walked out o the salon and rode home.




Why the cloud, Sunny?
CheezyNinja

7:07pm Dec 28 2009

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You ought to add periods or commas after the quotes, otherwise it's choppy. And when Sidney says what he says, you might say, "Sidney began to say, but I cut him off with, "I know, at 12:45. I slept too late."

"I could feel the man's knife work it was it's way throught my back." What on earth was that supposed to say? I'm confused. Also, a question. What relevance does the dream have to the dude's day?  Otherwise, good work.




Call me Cheezy and only Cheezy, I don't go by Ninja. Buddies, call me whatever your name for me is. Amazing banner by Reeses!
nononolick

7:59pm Dec 28 2009

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Thanks Cheezy! Ill fix it



Why the cloud, Sunny?
Raru

6:43am Dec 29 2009

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Posts: 583

Check your spelling, hun. If you need help, I'm sure there are people who could help.

And put more depth in your chapters please o3o





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