My Writing. :) Comments and Criticism Welcome!


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Iceheart46

7:09pm Jan 21 2011

Normal User


Posts: 3,950

I love to write! My friends say I'm good at it, too.  But I want to see what you guys here at Res have to say.  Comments and Criticism greatly welcomed!

------

Part of A Story..?

The small pups shivered in a cramped cave.  They huddled together for warmth.  Why us?  Why us with... This?  All of them thought.  One of the three spoke up at last.  "Are we... special, perhaps?" she squeaked, as the smallest of them all.

"No.  We're monsters.  That's why we're here," said another that was brown-furred.  A third said, "You can never be sure...  This had to happen for a reason, Cara."

The pup named Cara sighed.  Her brown fur was tinted black in the dark cave.  She closed her eyes to sleep.  "In the morning, sisters," she spoke.  "In the morning..."

~~~

Sola grolwed at one of her pack members.  "Where did you put them?!" she questioned.  The wolf, Taro, simply replied, "Somewhere far away where they won't disturb us.  Those creatures are bad omens."

Wrong answer.  Sola leapt onto Taro and dug her claws into him.  Crimson dotted the edge of their sharp points.  the lesser male was crushed beneath the Alpha's weight.  "Tell me... Where... They are.." she snarled menacingly.

------

Friend 

[A poem]

Funny is the word

Just say it and she'll

Make you laugh.

When you are in pain

You'll always smile

For she is right beside

You.

-

Together is how we are

For we never seem

To be apart.

If one thinks of juice,

The other will say

Juice,

And so we'll both

Burst out laughing

Because we think so

Much

Alike.

-

Weird and Wacky works

It never fails on you.

She is,

And you are,

Too,

Because you've taught each

Other

The art of the word

Crazy.

-

Caring says it all

For if you break you arm

She'll break hers

Just to be fair

So both would have

A problem,

Not one

Or

The other.

-

Friends

Is what you are.

Friends

Until the end of time.

Never shall

You split,

Until you

Both

Perish.

------

Alone

[A poem]

Have you ever felt what it's like to be completely alone?

It feels empty, gut-wrenching, and it feels

As if you're the only one that cares about you,

And everybody else is in their own wolrd,

While you are trapped in a thing between worlds,

The place that

Nobody thinks about

Or remembers.

-

Have you ever felt like you're locked in a room

With no doors nor windows nor

Other breathing thing

Besides you?

Not a single mouse or insect to even see you,

Not a single soul

Or heart

To care about you,

Just an empty white room.

-

Have you ever felt like you wanted to disappear?

Just vanish from the face of the Earth,

To never have existed,

To never face another day

Of your silent torture.

-

Have you ever felt what it's like to be

Completely

Alone?

------

That's all for now! :3  I might add more later.




- ☀ -
hiiii. you can call me ice.
bands took over my life and
i laugh too hard at bad jokes.
meh. x
- ☀ -
Iceheart46

5:40pm Jan 22 2011 (last edited on 5:42pm Jan 22 2011)

Normal User


Posts: 3,950

I've Done Something Nobody Else Has Done

[A ghost story, Chapter 1]

Moving Day. I don't want to move. I mean, why do we need to move? Our old house is fine! Where did Mom and Dad get the idea to move?

"Mom, just tell me what's wrong with this house," I said.

"Well, sweetie, we've been living here for eleven years--ever since you were born. It's an old home. Also, this is an apartment. Wouldn't it be better when we have our own property, and don't have to share with anyone?" answered mom.

"Ugh. I like it here, and that house you guys picked out gives me the creeps." I walked to my room---now full of many boxes containing various items. I opened one a little bit. It full of pictures in their frames.

I opened another. A knick-knack box. Then I went over to where my stuffed toy dogs lied. They weren't in boxes, we kept my two most loved ones out. I hugged them tight. "Don't worry, guys, " I said. "Everything will be fine..I suppose."

~~~ 

I heard the roar of a truck. Then I looked out the window and saw the truck. it was the moving truck. The ever so dreaded moving truck.

Two men got out, and my mom greeted them at the door. Back and forth the two went, carrying boxes. My dad even helped them. Soon, all the boxes were loaded. My parents and I hopped into our car and started to drive to our new home.

I wasn't happy.




- ☀ -
hiiii. you can call me ice.
bands took over my life and
i laugh too hard at bad jokes.
meh. x
- ☀ -
Iceheart46

5:41pm Jan 22 2011 (last edited on 5:42pm Jan 22 2011)

Normal User


Posts: 3,950

I've Done Something Nobody Else Has Done

[A ghost story, Chapter 2]

We got to our new house a while after. Dad and the two men unlocked the truck. While they were, I looked around the house again. First, the living room. Then a small room where people could relax---a mini living room without a TV.

Then, I went to the kitchen. But... there was this strange feeling that crept up my spine. An ominous, cold feeling... like something was watching.

All of a sudden, something brushed against my back. I took a step backwards, alarmed. It's probably just the counter you touched, I told myself. Then I heard something. It was as if something was being dragged, or pulled...

CRASH!

A dish that was placed on the counter fell to the floor, making an abrupt sound.

"What happened?" said mom, rishing in.

"The plate fell!" I said, shocked.

"You know, I thought you were done breaking things like this---even if by accident. I'm not mad or anything, but I understand when you're four, but eleven years old?"

"Mom, it fell by ITSELF! Really!"

"Uh-huh. Once again, I'm not mad that you broke it, ok? But I am mad that now that you're lying to me about it."

"But I'm not lying!"

"Sweetie, you have nothing to lie for. I'm not mad. But I will be if you don't stop."

"Mom, I'm seriously NOT lying!"

"Isabel Peters, quit the act!"

I froze. My mother really was angry. I gulped.

"Stop lying to me immediately and go," my mother said. Right then, that strange feeling left, as if it had done its job. But what exactly was "it"?

"Isabel, do I need to repeat myself?" my mother said, with more anger in her voice. "I said go."

"Y-yes, mom," I said, and quickly scurried away. I sat on the gr*censored* in our new front yard. What had happened in the kitchen? First of all, something touched me. The counter, most possibly.

BUT, how do I explain the broken plate? I wasn't even near it! The counter it was sitting on was across from me. I hadn't even touched the thing.

As I pondered about it more and more, I realized that there was no reasonable explanation. So, I just pushed the thought away and went inside. "When will the house have everything set up?" I asked my dad as I p*censored*ed by him. "Oh, it might take two weeks or so," he said.

"Two weeks?" I said. "That's too long for my liking."

"Well, your liking isn't always how it is. Go on upstairs and play."

I went upstairs. I wasn't going to "play", or whatever. I went into the computer room. The computer was all taken apart. We needed to put it together again. This room was meant for the computer, obviously, and so people could use the computer and do whatever they needed to without being bothered.

Then, I went out of the computer room and headed to my parents' room. The master bedroom. I liked my parents' room more than mine. They had a big, beautiful bed and a bathroom and a pretty big closet all there, along with a TV on the wall so they could watch it in bed. They also had extra space to move around in.

They're so lucky.

I left their room, and went to mine. Light blue walls with a nice, comfortable bed, a comfy chair, and a TV. Also, my desk and my sort-of-big-ish closet. The thing that's sort of better about my closet is that it's a walk-in closet, and my parents' closet isn't like that. My piano was also in here, along with my drawers that hold my clothes.

I have a lot of stuff in my room, although it may not seem like much from what I just said. I have a Nintendo DS, a Wii, a Playstation 2, a DVD/Video player, music CDs, an MP3, a bunch of books, lots of toys, quite a few stuffed animals, clothes, some knick-knacks, pictures, my clarinet and its stand, a bunch of stuff that is in and on my desk, jewelry, hair ties, and probably more.

I walked around my room, taking it all in. I actually moved. I just moved. I'm in our new house, already. Yet, it didn't really feel like it. Did you ever get that feeling, like when its Thursday but feels like Tuesday? Well, thats what I felt like at that moment. I sat down and took a deep breath. I sat there for a while, just taking it all in.

Then, I got up and went to the guest room. Very pretty, but not as great as the rooms of the people who live in the home! Then, I went to the storage room. Well, one of our storage rooms. We had two.

In this storage room, we stored things, obviously, but there was also the entryway to the attic.

I got that feeling again. That same, ominous, cold feeling crept right back into my body. I shivered. Maybe I should go back..

But I pressed on. I don't know why, but my body went towards the attic. It had chosen. I open the door, and the stairs loomed up at me.

Then, I heard it. I heard a very, very faint, but sure, sound of laughter... scary, taunting laughter. I froze, and gulped. Then, I heard it again. The laughter.... teasing me, making me scared. But it was a bit louder this time. Then, it got a bit more louder..

THUMP!

Something thumped the wall just then, a loud, hollow, thump, and I shut the door and ran. Ran and ran and ran, all the way to the front yard again. I was breathing hard. But I was safe. What was that? That was DEFINITELY unexplainable.

This house was strange... and it was also very scary.




- ☀ -
hiiii. you can call me ice.
bands took over my life and
i laugh too hard at bad jokes.
meh. x
- ☀ -
Kupala

5:56pm Jan 22 2011

Normal User


Posts: 3,371

The wolf one's really good :)




Iceheart46

5:58pm Jan 22 2011

Normal User


Posts: 3,950

Thank you, my friend. :)  It's greatly appreciated.




- ☀ -
hiiii. you can call me ice.
bands took over my life and
i laugh too hard at bad jokes.
meh. x
- ☀ -
Iceheart46

10:23am Jan 29 2011

Normal User


Posts: 3,950
Bump.



- ☀ -
hiiii. you can call me ice.
bands took over my life and
i laugh too hard at bad jokes.
meh. x
- ☀ -
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