Knocking Down Dominoes (WIP)


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Emsmoothie7

8:52pm Jan 26 2011

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Posts: 3

Knocking Down Dominoes

~Prolouge~

You know how when you knock down one domino, the rest fall down. One after another, down, down, down. That's what happened in my life a year ago. Things kept happening one after another, all because I knocked down that first domino...

~Chapter 1~

It all started, as I said, last year. A woman came to our house. I, of course, had to be the one who answered the door. She asked for my father, and I panicked. I called my dad to the front door and went back to my room. When my mom got home, I was so stressed about a test that I hadn't studied for, that I blurted out, "Dad's leaving you." Mom looked at me, surprised. "Evelyn, what are you talking about?" she said. So I told her about the lawyer and her just asking for Dad. Mom shook her head, "Honey, I'm sure everything's fine." she said. But later, I'm sure she questioned Dad about it, because for the first time in their whole 15 years of marrige, my parents had a fight. As I lay in my bed crying about what I'd done, I heard a car door slam and a car pulling out. I wasn't sure who it was at first, but than mom came in my room and said goodnight to me, thinking I was asleep, that I hadn't heard the fight. But I had, and I sure wasn't happy.

~Chapter 2~

When I woke up the next morning, Dad was there. He tried to hide his anger as we ate breakfast, but it was there.

 ((This is a WorkInProgress. Hope you like it so far!))




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Emsmoothie7

8:54pm Jan 26 2011

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Posts: 3
~Reserved~ (Just In Case)



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Emsmoothie7

7:57am Jan 28 2011

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Posts: 3
Bump!



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Elainie

7:10pm Jan 28 2011

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Posts: 200

Sounds interesting :3. Buuut. When you switch speakers, you start a new paragraph :x Also, I would recommend making the chapters longer. Chapter 1 and 2 can be merged together, and be separated with ---, ***, or something else showing that there was a short period of time between the two. You can also just use a big space.

 

INCORRECT: '"Dad's leaving you." Mom looked at me, surprised. "Evelyn, what are you talking about?" she said.'

CORRECT: "Dad's leaving you." 

Mom looked at me, surprised. "Evenlyn, what are you talking about?" she asked (not said).




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