fantasy equine story c:


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Kennocha

4:58am Jan 5 2011 (last edited on 5:22pm Jan 5 2011)

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The screaming of agony and of pain. The scent of blood and death. The sight of destruction. The vibe of hatred... It was unbearable. It was always there. The war had been going on for centuries. The war over rulership, over peace, over land and kingdoms. The war that had renamed our lands to Odium. The war for a new world.

The horses of light were dwindling, weakening. The horses of dark were slowly coming out on top. It was frightening, for the kings were so blinded by heir lust for control, that they did not listen to the great Council. Even the Deity's words went unheeded. These words that spoke of the One. One who would not only end this war, but end all of equine existence if peace was not obtained. Only the clean and pure would stay, those not tainted by the awful lust for supreme lordship. This mighty stallion would not only be our savior, but also, our destroyer. He would judge us, weigh us, and do justice. 

 The council consisted of three light mares and three dark stallions. They were wise, old, and came from a long line descending from the great prophets of the old. They had a great power to see into the future and walk in dreams, intervening only if necessary. The Deity was a mare that was neither light nor dark. She was a great noble horse. She had the ability to hear thoughts, walk in dreams, communicate with other creatures, see into the future and past. She was unable to see the present simply because she was blind. She was the one who knew everything there was to be known. It was she who chose the four. Us four who would go in search of the One and bring him back to her and her before anything. It went unsaid as to why. 

 Terror. Loss. Lust. Betrayal. And a world in chaos that is hanging by a thread.

 

 (( Just the outline, basically. The storyline or whatever. It'd be greatly appreciated if I could get any feedback before I continue? c: ))

 

 

Reddaysi

12:32pm Jan 5 2011

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Posts: 251
Wow, this is billiant!
Just one thing; 
The war over ruler ship
I think that should be spelt rulership? Sorry, I'm a bit of a spelling freak XD
 
The storyline is very intruiging though. I love horses, and this was just fantastic.
c:



supernovastar

1:23pm Jan 5 2011

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Posts: 1,256

Red: Yep, I think it's rulership. I know how it feels to be a spelling freak. O_o

Anyway... I think it's epic. It's really well written and the story seems good. 




Albino Uilus 24/120
Kennocha

5:14pm Jan 5 2011

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Oops, I'll change that. Thanks. c: 

Kennocha

1:10am Jan 12 2011

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Kennocha

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Kennocha

1:11am Jan 12 2011

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Kennocha

1:11am Jan 12 2011

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Kennocha

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